It was an average day in Bum Town, home of Mr. Blacks.

Or so it seemed!

Yes folks, it’s true.

Mr. Loafer ambled up to Mr. Bad Guy. Mr. Bad Guy’s one good third eye stared
down at Loafer, and Loafer pulled out a bag of peanut chews. He handed them
to Mr. Bad Guy, who ate them with relish. And Mustard. Chuckle.

DUMDUDMDUDM! Meanwhile, we find Mr. Blacks just waking up from his
evening-morning nap. Also none as, his long night’s rest.

at that moment, a bag of bagels was shoved into Mr. Blacks mouth, and he was
pushed out the door.

Mr. Blacks: My lord! I only know one other person who says that!

Buy STUFF© it tastes gggggggggggggggggggggggggggreat! That’s. Tony’s suing them.

The Mr. Peacock Show, By Flannery Wilson (C) 1997, 1998

AND NOW...FOR A SPECIAL, NEW, EXCITING, MYSTIFYING, THRILLING AND CHILLING
EPISODE OF THAT LOVABLE SPY WITH A MOODY TEMPERAMENT--THAT'S RIGHT, YOU
GUESSED IT! THAT WONDERFUL, SQUEEZABLE ADORABLE CHARACTER WHOM YOU HAVE COME
TO CHERISH OVER ALL THESE YEARS...YOU KNOW WHO WE'RE TALKING ABOUT...DON'T
YOU?
YOU DON'T? UH OH. THAT'S BAD, CAUSE WE DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE
EITHER.
ANYWAY, NOW FOR OUR SHOW!

The name of the character is a little somethin' like this.

MR. PEACOCK

Right?

Right?

Mr. Peacock sat at his desk. Suddenly the phone rang and Mr. Peacock
grabbed it quickly.
"Is this Mr. Peacock?" screeched a voice at the other end.
"No, this is Mr. Bl--"
"Good. It's glad to hear your voice again," interrupted the voice, "we
called you..." the voice sighed, "because there is a slight problem."
Mr. Peacock frowned, "namely?"
"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm one of the writer's of this show, and
well...an embarrassing problem has arisen, so we figured the best thing to
do would be to call you."
Mr. Peacock had no idea what to say.
"Well, I'm just the man you need," Mr. Peacock explained arrogantly.
"It's about your name."
"Yes?" questioned Mr. Peacock.
"Actually, we've forgotten it, so we are currently utilizing another name
that sounds completely absurd and stupid in the context of this story."
"And so?"
"And so we'd like for you to remind us of your real name so that we can
change it back as soon as possible before the readers get highly annoyed,"
the voice continued, "will you help us?"
Mr. Peacock laughed hysterically.
"What's so funny?" inquired the voice.
"You guys are just so godam stupid, that's all."
"Whatever. Just tell us your godam name," said the voice, now exasperated.
"My name is Mr. Blacks," said Mr. Peacock.
"Mr. Whosiz? Please be kind enough to repeat that, sir. I couldn't
understand."
"My name is Mr. BLACKS, you know, like the color, except with an `s'?" Mr.
Peacock attempted.
"Mr. Macks?"
"No! My name is BLACKS! B-L-A-C-K-S!" shouted Mr. Peacock who was getting
somewhat annoyed himself at this point.
"Mr. Peacock--I'm afraid you're going to have to speak up, the phone line's
a little scratchy."
That was the absolute last straw for Mr. Peacock.
"MY NAME IS MR. BLACKS YOU STUPID LITTLE PIECE OF HOGSHIT AND IF YOU EVER
DARE CALL ME SOMETHING ELSE EVER AGAIN I WILL HAVE TO COME OVER THERE AND
PERSONALLY KARATE CHOP YOU IN TWO. OH AND DON'T FORGET THE OTHER WRITERS
THERE TOO!! YOU WON'T B LEFT UNSCATHED! MR. BLACKS ALWAYS GETS HIS REVENGE!
DO YOU HEAR ME I AM MR. BLACKS, AND PROUD OF IT! I AM MR. BLACKS, MR.
BLACKS, MR. BBBLLAAAAAAAACKS!" said Mr. Peacock.
However, there was no longer anyone on the other end. They had hung up a
long time ago.
"Stupid idiotic messed up pieces of..." Mr. Pussywillow muttered to
himself. "Well anyway, back to work."
But, suddenly, as Mr. Pussywillow was taking a sip of his coffee, an idea
popped into his mind.
"Ah hah! I know just the thing! I can get my name back in a second! All I
have to do is..." he began to laugh--it was an evil laugh, coming from the
pit of his stomach, and rising up out through his mouth, sounding into the
air like a horrible, noisy squid. "No, it's too evil. Simply TOO evil. I
can't, I simply...ah, what the hell. For old time's sake."
Mr. Pussywhatever called up Barney, the playful purple dinosaur,and hired
him to go over to the "Official Writer's Offices" to kill the writers of
this comic. "It can't do any harm, can it?" reasoned Mr. Poopkins, "after
all, this situation is getting WAY out of hand."
So Barney went over to do his job. And that's what he did. He killed
all the...oh my god...is that what I think--it's even more evil and more
purple than I ever would have imagined...

Mr. Blacks returned to his desk. "Aaaw," he sighed, "it feels so good to
have my original name back."


THE END.

And that concludes tonight's episode of Mr. Moonpie