PROLOGUE

 

          Tom's sneaker snapped a twig as he ran faster and faster through the forest.  The trees flashed by a thousand miles an hour and he kept running, gasping for breath with  every step.  He looked back at him, watching the giant, four-eyed, green monsters.  They were gaining on him and his sister.  He didn't know if he could keep up his pace.  And then what would happen? Could he make it? Would he make it?  His dog was close behind him.   Didn't the stupid mutt know they were in any danger?  Didn't he know they were being chased by blood thirsty monsters?

          Blood thirsty monsters.

          Things like this just didn't happen.

          Not to a normal boy like Tom.

          His sneakers thudded on the forest ground.  He knew he had to continue.  He couldn't give up after all this.  He'd gone so far now. 

          How had he ever gotten into this mess?  His life had been so normal. So completely normal. He remembered back to a few days earlier.  Yes, it had all started with that key he had found.  Why did he have to have ever found that key? He wished with all his might that he had thrown it far, far away. It had brought him nothing but terror. If only he had left it be. If only he hadn’t been so curious.

I

THE KEY

 

          It was the kind of a day you would want to spend making the best of your youth, exploring new frontiers and far off lands that just happened to be in your neighborhood or digging for treasure and investigating haunted houses like Huckleberry Finn.  Of course, in this day and age things like that just don't happen, and kids like Thomas have got to make some money.  And so, a beautiful day was wasted with Tom stuck behind a lawn mower.

          The sunshine threw its rays here and there, slowly tinting the wavy grass, constantly reminding him he was stuck mowing the lawn on this beautiful bleach-blond day.

          He'd been at it over an hour, but he had barely gotten five feet mowed.  His brown hair at this point could have almost been used as a wet mop, for it was drenched in a disgusting glaze of sticky sweat.  So, if it hadn't been for the sweet reward he would gain when he was done, he would have given up before you could say, well, anything.

          Suddenly, without the slightest bit of warning, an orange blur slid out of nowhere.  It was Tom's cat, Spear. It was followed by Tom's white dog, Pushkin, who was lagging slightly behind.

           Basically everyone loved Pushkin and Pushkin loved everyone, he even seemed to command an odd sense of respect from other dogs; however, he had some quite annoying habits.  Chewing up every book or shoe in sight and chasing Spear were just two of them.

           As Pushkin drew nearer, Spear darted in front of the lawn mower.  When he heard the loud noises it was making, he darted away from it just as fast, screeching an awful high pitched cry you would only hear from a cat in distress.  Pushkin looked at the lawn mower curiously, lowering his nose towards the blade.

          "PUSHKIN! STOP!" cried Tom pushing him out of the way.  The lawn mower lurched from his hands and smacked straight into a tree.  Smoke poured out of the engine, and it was making some quite awful sounding sputtering noises.

          "That's it!" cried Tom. "Forget the two bucks!"      

          Leaving the mess to be cleaned up by someone besides Tom, he ran quickly into the cool air-conditioned shade of his house.  The dwelling was a big stone structure from so long ago no one could estimate its age, as the realtor had told Tom’s family.  Ivy wrapped itself around the ancient walls, almost strangling it.  It was the kind of house in a fairy tale--mysterious and enchanting.  Tom's family had just bought it about a month ago, and he really hadn't gotten a chance to get to know it very well. He opened the door to the normal creaking noises you'd expect an old door to make. 

          Once you were inside the house really didn't seem as big, and modern furniture made it look quite a bit less magical.

          "Lisa?" Tom called, walking down the steps to his basement. At the bottom of the steps, Tom found his older sister watching the TV.

          "LISA?"

          "Shhh!  This is the part were Kevin's evil twin brother comes back from the grave and finds out his girlfriend was having an affair with his Uncle!"

          "Why are you watching a show about old men?" Tom asked, eyeing the ancient looking people on TV.

          "Old men?" said Lisa offended, "They're supposed to be in high school!"

          "Yeah, well, don't you want to do something?" Tom asked, changing the subject before Lisa got too annoyed.

          Lisa turned her head from the screen.  "Do something? With you? A snot nosed little kid?  Yeah right!  Just because I have to stay home today, it doesn’t mean I'm going to hang around with you!" Lisa looked genuinely disgusted at the proposition.

          "Well, fine, I'm taking Pushkin for a walk. I'm bored." And Tom began to walk out the door.

          It had been about half a second, when Tom heard footsteps.

          "Wait, you idiot, I'm coming, I'm coming."

          "Decided to join me, huh?"

          Lisa muttered a few words of pure disgust.

          They both made their way out the door, Pushkin fastened firmly to a leash, and they were off.

           The houses in Tom’s neighborhood were quite scattered, and were mostly very old.  People here liked to keep their distance, and Tom and Lisa scarcely knew anyone on the block.  No one had welcomed them their first day of moving in and everyone they'd met later on seemed rather unfriendly.  It was a quite bitter and surprising change from Tom's old neighborhood, but Tom just assumed that was one of the reason they had gotten the house so cheap. 

          Walking briskly up a rocky dead-end street, Tom and Lisa came upon the looming Warner Mansion.  The owner of the house, Mr. Warner, had lived in this neighborhood for as long as anyone Tom and Lisa had talked to could remember.  Tom's mother had told him that Mr. Warner grew up in Tom's house, down the street.  But that was in the forties, and in Tom’s mind, nothing that long ago had ever actually happened.

          In front of the house a sign was planted firmly in the ground.  It read: "PRIVATE PROPERTY, NO TRESPASSERS."

            Mr. Warner, from what Tom and Lisa had seen and heard so far, seemed a crabby man, and they both suspected when he put up a sign like that, he genuinely expected you to follow it. 

          Within the first week Tom and Lisa began hearing stories about him.  All the kids at Tom's school said and seemed to truly believe that he had once killed a kid who had trespassed on his property.  For obvious reasons, Tom and Lisa hadn't explored this part of their new neighborhood, yet they were quite curious.

          "Lisa, want to go exploring?"

          "You mean, in the Warner forest? No way!  Remember that story? What if he caught us?"

          "Yeah. But I hear it's awesome, and it's nearly twenty acres!  Besides, I don't even think he's home."

          "How do you know?"

          "Because, there's only five cars in the driveway today."

          Tom was the first to edge towards the forest; then Lisa followed by Pushkin, eagerly joined his owners.  The “edging” broke into a run when they saw the entrance. It looked wonderful.  Their feet rustled against fallen leaves and after a quick run, they found themselves in a dark forest.  It was spectacular!

           The trees were rounded and high, showing years of pushing upward towards the sun, and the branches, twisted by eternity, reached outward, keeping the bright sunshine from entering.

           Tom and Lisa gazed in awe at their discovery; it was perhaps the coolest place in the world.

           They began walking down the trail, when sharp footsteps began to pound against the ground.  They both jumped in surprise. A voice sounded out, echoing slightly.

          "Who's there! Get out of my woods! No trespassers!"

           Their feet were raised high to run, when Pushkin began to pull them back.  He was curious about something.

          "Pushkin! Come on! We have to get out of here!" they cried.           Yet Pushkin's nose lifted high, smelling some invisible scent, and he dragged Tom beside a tree.  Pushkin began to dig.

          The voice sounded again, "Who's there! Get off of my property!"

          "Pushkin!! Pushkin! Hurry up!" Tom and Lisa cried in unison, "Come on!"

           But Pushkin just kept on digging, ripping the soil from the ground, desperate to see what was there.  Tom and Lisa couldn't help being at least slightly interested in what was causing this fuss.

          Finally, he stopped digging, satisfied.  He had something inside his mouth.

          "Are you done, you stupid mutt? Let's get out of here."

          All three sprinted down the path.

          Suddenly a voice sounded.  It was loud and annoyed, yet at the same time satisfied to have caught another fly. "CAN'T YOU DAMN KIDS READ?"

          Tom and Lisa spun around.

          "Y-y-es," Tom managed to cough.

          "Well then, what the blazes are you doin' on my property?"

          They didn't wait to answer the question, but bolted down the road to their safe home.

          "I'll sue you for illegal entry! And don't ever come on my property again!" Mr. Warner yelled down the street, "Just wait! Your parents will hear of this!!"

*   *   *

          Soon, when they reached their house, Tom noticed Pushkin was carrying something shiny in his mouth. "What have you got there, boy?"

          Tom pulled the object from his dog's mouth to find an odd looking key. Engraved on the top were the three letters "L.O.D"

II

THE DISCOVERY

          Bright and early the next morning, Tom's household was awoken by the piercing sound of the phone ringing.  Mrs. Peterson, Tom's mother, flung herself out of bed, muttering about who could be calling at this hour.

          "Hello?" Mrs. Peterson’s voice came out raspy and sounded quite exhausted, as she held the receiver to her mouth.

          As she listened, Mrs. Peterson scarcely said a word except occasional "Mm hm's" and finally "I'm sorry. I can assure you it will not happen again." Then "Goodbye."

          "Rex? Rex?" she called, shaking her husband who was still lying in bed. "Do you realize what the kids were doing yesterday? They were trespassing on Mr. Warner’s property! They no doubt nearly gave the poor man a heart attack."

          "Mmmmm," Mr. Peterson replied sleepily. "Mmmmm Hmmmmm. Good for them."

          "Are you listening to me? I'm going to make them apologize to him right away.  It's just not right. Rex, don't you agree?"

          She realized her husband was snoring.  There was no use in trying to get him up again, so she herself crawled back into bed.

* * *

          Later that morning, at the breakfast table, Mrs. Peterson brought up the phone call.

          "Mr. Warner called me this morning," started Mrs. Peterson. "May I ask what you were doing on his property? I want an explanation RIGHT NOW!"

          Tom and Lisa looked at each other.  So he really had called their parents.  The persistent old geezer!

          "We were just looking aroun--"

          "I don't care for excuses!" Mrs. Peterson replied.

          "That wasn't an excuse! It was an explanation!  You asked for an--"

          "Quiet! Right after breakfast you kids are going to march over there and apologize."

          "What? We are not apologizing! We didn't do anything--" Tom and Lisa screamed in defense.

          "According to Mr. Warner the forest was just ripped apart."

          Ripped apart? Mr. Warner must have noticed where Pushkin was digging.  Had Mr. Warner known about the key?  Did he know they had stolen it?

           "It was not!" Tom protested. "And there's no way I'm apologizing to that old fart!"

          "Thomas! Watch how you refer to your elders!"

          For the first time, Mr. Peterson looked up from his eggs.

          "Don't you think your being a tiny bit too hard on them, Martha? When I was a kid I used to snoop around quiet a bit too. I mean they were just---"

          "NO! I am not being to hard on them! My parents would have made me do the same thing!"

          "I'm sorry. You're right, dear." Mr. Warner whimpered. He was always a little afraid of his wife. 

          "Of course I am. Now I want both of you to go to your rooms and stay there 'til I tell you to come out."

          "What?  You can't control me like I'm a little kid! I'm going to Mary's house today." Lisa protested, "No way!"

          "I can and will control you like a little kid until you stop acting like one!  Now march!  Both of you!" Mrs. Peterson snarled. She really could be intimidating at times.      

          So, up they went to the second floor and in to their rooms.  They both slammed their doors behind themselves.

          "March!" Tom said, mocking his mother, flinging himself onto a pile of pillows and stuffed animals so as to begin his sulking.  It wasn't fair.  Why should he apologize to some senile jerk?  He wasn't allowed to look around?  That jerk probably never set foot in the woods in his life; why did he care what Tom was doing there?

           He lay there awhile amongst the dozens of unpacked boxes spread across his room.  He was going to be stuck here all day, he figured.  Unless he apologized, and there wasn't any way he was going to do that.  How could his mother do this to him when they'd just moved in?  He needed to meet people now, or he'd never have any friends in this town. Well, he decided, if he was going to be cooped up in his room the whole day, he might as well do something.

          He opened the door to his closet.  He hadn't really looked at what was in it yet. Maybe there was something he could look at for a while.  He flicked the light switch, and the bulb filled the closet with light.  The space was completely littered with old junk that former owners had left.   It was fairly obvious that the people who had lived there previously had packed in a hurry, or didn't care too much about their stuff.

            He began looking around for something to do. Maybe someone had left an old game or book that could keep him busy until his mother calmed down.  Most of the stuff looked fairly boring, though.  Mostly little kids’ toys and old papers filled the space.  Nothing Tom was interested in.

          Then he spotted a pile of books in the corner.  He could stoop to reading something, he supposed.

           He waded through the piles of junk, kicking aside an old looking edition of "Monopoly"; he reached the pile of books. He tossed them aside, finding there was nothing very interesting.  Just some old kids' books and stuff, nothing Tom wanted to read.  He had just about given up, when he noticed something on the bottom of the stack. It was a small book, encased in dust.  It looked as if it hadn't been opened in fifty years.  He picked it up and found that at closer look it appeared to be a diary.  It must be the diary of some kid who had lived there before, thought Tom, blowing some of the dust off the cover.

            When the dust was gone, he found their was something written across the top.  As Tom read them, a look of shock and excitement crept over his face.   It said "GEORGE WARNER’S DIARY", in spidery handwriting across the top. He couldn't believe this!  That annoying old coot kept a diary? He couldn't wait to read it!

          Tom opened the front cover to a cloud of dust.  He began to read.

          January 1, 1945

          It's the new year, diary!  A whole new year!

          "How boring is this guy?" said Tom, skipping a few months.

          June 14, 1945

           My dog ran away.  Oh, diary! I'm so upset!

          "Man, what a wimp!" thought Tom reading on:

          We looked everywhere! Mother can't find him either!  I looked in the attic; he'd been up there quite a bit recently.  He wasn't there, but I did find something.  A key.  A strange key. The letters "L.O.D."  were engraved on the top.

          L.O.D.? Wasn't that...

          Tom pulled out the key from his jeans pocket.  He had almost forgotten about it.  Looking at it carefully, he read the letters engraved on the top once more. L.O.D.  This was the key Mr. Warner was talking about!

          Tom flipped forward a few pages.

          June 23, 1945

          I am sorry I haven't written in a few days, but the most terrifying thing has happened!  I know you won't believe me, diary, but it's true!  I told you I found a key. Well, I also found a keyhole in the attic.  Just by chance I tried the key in it.  You know, I was just being curious.  But to my surprise, a trap door opened. I was very curious as to where it could possibly lead and jumped down to see what was there.  Oh, diary!  It was awful---

          Tom didn't have to read anymore.

          "OMIGOD! The key--it--it--leads to a trap door! I gotta see this!"

          He tossed the book aside and started to run to the attic, completely forgetting his punishment.

          He ran up the creaky, wooden steps and opened the door.  The attic smelled of decay, and a bunch of old furniture and boxes littered the ground.  It was quite dark, too.  A single light bulb lit the entire room.

          Tom began searching for a keyhole.  The diary hadn't given any real information.  It could be anywhere.  Toppling over boxes and ripping through cobwebs, he found himself beginning to sweat.  This was the only part of the house that wasn't fully air-conditioned.

          Tom had thought he'd searched every square inch of his attic.  The only place left to look was behind a large, old phonograph. Grasping it with both hands, he pulled with all his might. He pushed it aside, using all his strength.  It screeched loudly as it scraped the wooden floor.  But there was nothing there either.

          The noise sent Lisa running up the stairs.

          "What happened up here?" Lisa inquired, sounding just like her mother.

          "I was just looking for a keyho--"

          "A keyhole? Tom! What are you talking about? Mom's gonna kill you when she finds you're not in your room!  And why did you make such a mess?"

          "I told you! I found Mr. Warner’s diary and--" 

          A loud voice interrupted Tom’s explanation.

          "Did I tell you children you could leave your rooms?" Mrs. Peterson inquired walking to the top of the stairs. "Get back there at once!  Unless you’re willing to talk to Mr. Warner, of course."

          Maybe they did want to talk to Mr. Warner.  He could tell Tom all about the key and everything.  But then again...

          "No way!" Lisa hollered loudly while Tom was thinking, "Never!"

          "Fine! Be stubborn! Now get back to your rooms!  And don't you dare talk back!  Do you hear me?"

          They both stomped down the stairs, unaware of the keyhole that was in the room.

          Unaware of the adventures that lay before them.

          Unaware of the danger...

III

AT SCHOOL

          "Tom! It's time for school!  Get out of bed.  You're going to miss the bus!"

          Tom opened one eye and looked up at his mother.  "Huh?"

          "THOMAS ROSS PETERSON! GET OUT OF BED THIS INSTANT!"

          Tom hated it when his mother called him by his full name, although this time he didn't hear.  He rolled over.  Unfortunately, he was at the end of the bed, so he came tumbling to the ground, taking with him the all the sheets and blankets.  He didn't notice.

            "I'm up, I'm up," Tom said sleepily.

            But he obviously was not because an instant later his eyes made their way shut again.

          "Tom! Get up right now. I've called you to get up at least ten times this morning and each time you said you would get up, then fell asleep!"

          "What? I did not."

          "Yes you did," said Mrs. Peterson, "you moaned in agreement."

          Tom, pulling on some clothes that were lying on the floor, brushed his hair and teeth then walked out into the hallway.

          He crawled down the stairs into the kitchen, desperately hoping his mom had made a terrible mistake, and he didn't really have to go to school.  Maybe it was only two in the morning and his mother had somehow woken him up way too early.  Better yet, it was Presidents Day or something, and school was closed in recognition.  Could there be some kind of freak snowstorm outside?  He suddenly realized it was hopeless.  There was no way of avoiding it.  He had to go to school.

           Tom scuffled into a chair at the kitchen table.  Dumping some Frosted Flakes and milk into a bowl, he took a bite, but his head slowly found its way to the tabletop.  He began to snore.

          "THOMAS! GET UP!" Mrs. Peterson cried.

          "Huh?  Mom, I don't feel very good.  Can you take my temperature?"

          "THOMAS! You are not sick. I've taken your temperature every day for two weeks, and I'm not about to take it again! Now hurry up and eat your cereal!"

            Each bite of the cereal tasted to him like poison, as he shoveled another two bites of the soggy mush into his throat.

            Packing up his binders and workbooks, he made sure to take something extra today.  He was planning on finishing Mr. Warner’s diary during one of his teacher’s boring lectures.

           He ran outside, just as the bus was beginning to leave. As Tom stepped on to the bus, the driver muttered something about being at the stop on time, and Tom made his way to the back row.  He sat down on one of the seats, squashing himself next to a quite pudgy little kid.  He wished school started at nine like Lisa's did.  She was still sleeping!

          The screaming of children ran shrilly through the air, penetrating Tom's head, and slitting it like a knife, as he tried to relax.  He understood now why adults were always telling kids to quiet down.

          The bus stopped to pick up kids several times until it reached the school.  Tom ran out of the bus, for, according to Tom’s new watch, the bell would ring in a less than a minute.  Tom had gone about 3 feet when---BRRIIINNGGG!!!!!--the bell sounded. It was loud and shrill, reminding him of that phone call yesterday.  And the key.  But he couldn't think about that! His teacher would kill him for being late. 

          His pace changed from fast to speeding.  If he were a car, you can be sure he would have gotten a ticket.  The classroom was located so far away, it was a wonder he made it as quickly as he did.  Tom walked in the door. He tried not to draw attention to himself.

          Stay close to the walls, and make your way slowly to the desk, thought Tom, no one has to know.

          Suddenly a voice sounded and he knew he'd never make it now.

          "And where have you been, Mr. Peterson?"  It was Mrs. Silver, Tom's first period English teacher.  "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

          Tom looked at his watch. Whenever someone asked him the time, his face would light up in glee. He loved watches that were equipped with many features, and he must have had twenty in his room without a single scratch.

          "Eight-thirty-one and twenty-seven seconds, Ma'am" he answered positively.

          "Yes, fine! It's over a minute after the bell.  YOU ARE TARDY!  You'd better have a pretty good excuse."

          "Uhhhh," was all Tom said.  He wanted to say that the bus wasn't on time, but he knew she wouldn't believe him.  She never did.

          "If you keep this up, your going to have to talk to Dr. Sharpfield.  That's five tardies this year!"

          "Sorry, Mrs. Silver." Tom said  almost in a whisper.

          "Now get out you essay.  And be quick about. I've already collected everyone else's!"

          Tom gulped. Essay?

          "Uh." Tom thought quickly.  There had to be some way out of this.

          "You did do the essay, did you not, Mr. Peterson?"

          "Of course I did.  Uh, it's in my backpack.  I'll just be getting it,” Tom lied.  He unzipped his bag, making a big show of trying to find it.  He was aware the entire class was looking at him and whispering.

          "Well, it's got to be here somewhere." He looked a little more. Then he exclaimed, "I know! I, uh, must have left it in my locker. I'll just go get it. I'll just, uh, take a paper and a pencil with me, you know, just in case I need..." His voice trailed off as he realized his teacher wasn't buying any of this.

          "Sit down, Mr. Peterson."

          "Really, Mrs. Silver, I must have left it on my desk. I..."

          "Just like last time, Thomas?" Mrs. Silver voice was loud and disgusted.

          "No. Actually last time it was a computer error. See the printer got jammed and…”

          "Please have a seat. You have wasted enough of our time."

          He sat down at his desk.  Mrs. Silver’s voice grew more distant and even more distant as he began to think about that key.  Mr. Warner had found a keyhole, he knew he could too...

          The he remembered he had brought the diary with him to school.  He unzipped his backpack, careful it didn't make too much noise, and dug his hands to the bottom. He pulled it out with a sharp tug.  He opened the cover and began to re-read the beginning.  Finding it boring, he skipped to the last entry.

          July 3, 1945

          Mother says we will be moving soon, and I am so glad!  After all, I suggested it.  I can't stand living in a house with such an awful secret to it.  Besides, if someone in my family stumbles on it, they might be stuck there forever.

          Tom looked up from the diary. Stuck where? Where was this place?  How could he get there? Where was the keyhole?

          He read more in the entry:

          I will soon bury the key where no one will find it.  But I must hide the keyhole before I move as well.  It's too dangerous.  To make sure no one ever has my experience, I have hung a large painting over the keyhole.  And if anyone removes it, may God have mercy on their---

          "Well, Thomas, would you care to summarize chapter two, please?" Mrs. Silver’s voice asked suddenly.  He knew she was picking on him because he hadn't written the essay.  He wished "No I don't care to summarize it, thank you very much" was a reasonable answer; however, he knew it wasn't.

          "Uh, yeah. Sure." His voice sounded raspy and quiet at first.  He cleared his throat.  "Well you see--" he looked around the room.  Maybe there would at least be some sort of clue as to what book they were reading.  A number of other kids in the room had their hands raised. One kid's hand was raised so high it almost was touching the ceiling. "Ooohh!! Oohhh!!" he was moaning, "I know it! I know it!"

          All right, Tom thought, he knows it!  So call on him! Call on him!

          "Mr. Peterson seems to have forgotten to start the book. Joey, why don't you help Mr. Peterson out."

          "Well," Joey started expertly "Tom Sawyer has to white wash his fence for Aunt Polly.  Of course, this is a rather boring chore for him to do, so he decides he'll get someone else to do it..."

          Tom's mind was again elsewhere.

          So, behind a painting, was it? Not exactly a locked vault! When Tom got home this afternoon, he'd move the painting.  It was a wonder no one had before.  He'd be the first since Mr. Warner to find out what lay beyond the attic.

           Whatever it might be...

*   *   *

          The minute he walked in the door, he knew what he must do. The key in his pocket, he walked briskly to the attic.

            He paced around the walls in search of the painting. The dark walls were completely bare besides cobwebs and some peeling wallpaper.  Unless...

          There! A musty painting hung crookedly on the wall. It was half covered in cobwebs and dust, but this was a painting!  And this must be it.  Tom walked over to the corner where it hung. He'd seen this painting before. "Dogs Playing Poker," it was called. Tom had always found the dogs sitting around a card table just like humans slightly humorous.  But he didn't have time to think about dogs!

          He ripped the painting off the wall, excitedly.  The glass shattered as he flung it on the ground.

          And there it was.

          A bright keyhole rimmed in gold.

          Excitedly, Tom pulled the key out and jammed it into the keyhole.  With a flick of his wrist, something started to move under his feet.  He jumped back, as he watched a trap door spring open.

          This was it!  The trap door he'd been looking for!

          "LISSAAAAAA," Tom called.

          Lisa appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "What do you want, toad breath?" She retorted sharply.

          "Look," Tom said, his voice quavering with excitement.

          Lisa climbed the stairs and stood next to her brother, a bored expression on her face. "Yeah, real nice, some stupid painting."

          "No, Lisa. " sputtered Tom, "Look down."

          She stopped in awe, spotting the open trap door.

          Tom stared down into the dark pit below.  It was so dark and dangerous looking, it said keep out as clearly as the Warner's sign had.

          "I wonder what's down there! It could be anything!" Tom said in wonderment.          

          "Oh, it's probably just some drain pipe or something," Lisa reasoned, "or maybe they used to put coal down there."

          ""But Lisa! They didn't keep coal in the attic! And besides, how could such a deep passage fit between the attic and the second floor?"

          "All I know is I wouldn't go down there for a million dollars--it would get my new blouse all sooty!"       

          Suddenly there was a loud MEEOOOOOW!!!!! Followed by RRRROOOOFFF!!! And both the cat and dog bolted into the attic. Spear must have thought fast; he plunged into the pit meowing as he fell. A loud smack followed.

          "Cats always land on their feet, right?" a horrified Tom sputtered.

 

IV

THE SECRET PASSAGE

          "What should we do?"  Tom asked looking at his sister.

          A shrug was the brilliant reply he received.

          "I'm going after him," Tom exclaimed suddenly, always trying to be brave and in grasp of the situation.

          "Are you crazy?  That's at least a twenty foot drop!  And if you didn't get crushed, you could be stuck down there 'til you rotted into mush!"  Lisa though for a moment. "Actually, Tom, maybe you should have a look."

          Ignoring Lisa's sarcastic remark, Tom took a deep breath and lurched into the pit.

          He landed with a thud on the cold ground, surprised at how little pain he had felt.  He stood up and dusted himself off.

          Tom looked around.  There was nothing to see but a thick glaze of complete darkness.  He slowly moved forward, his hands out stretched cautiously.

          "Here kitty, kitty, kitty,"  he called through the dark.

*   *   *

          Lisa stared down the pit in search of Tom, but found only complete blackness.

          "Tom!" she cried, "are you down there?"

           Only a distant repetition of her own voice replied.

          "Do you need any help? Are you okay?" Lisa pictured Tom, lying helplessly on the ground, with no one to help him.  She couldn't help feeling sorry for him.  And besides, there wasn't anything good on TV for at least two hours.       

          "I'll save you, Tom!" she cried as she fell to the bottom of the pit.  She landed a little harder than Tom, and had the wind knocked out of her.  But she found she could breath normally within a few minutes.

           "TTTOOOMM!!!  TTOOOMM!!!"  Lisa screamed, trying to make him out in the dark.

          She didn't know he was little more then a foot in front of her.

          "Lisa?"

          "Tom?"

          "Where are you?"

          "I'm about three feet in front of--" 

          The sound of an egg cracking was actually Tom and Lisa knocking heads.

          "Thanks a lot, jerk!"

          "Shut up, turd face!"

          "No, why don't you, you stupid---"

          Suddenly a loud ROOF! echoed thorough the air, and something big and furry landed in Lisa’s lap, knocking her to the ground. Lisa screamed, picturing some kind of mutant rat, but then realized it had only been her faithful dog, Pushkin.

          "Pushkin!" Lisa cried, squinting to make out his face, "Thank God, it's only you! But God your heavy! What have we been feeding you?"  She began to get up wincing at the pain of being crushed by a big, fat dog.

          "Whatcha think it was, a mutant rat?" Tom taunted.

          "Ye--no, of course not!" Lisa lied.

          "Did too!"

          "Did not!"

          "Yeah, ya did!"

          “Shut up, fish face!"

          "Why don't you, pig head?"

          "I know you're a pig head, but what am I?"

          "A pig head!" Lisa cried loudly.

          Another ROOOOFFFF!!! interrupted Lisa.

          "Ow! You stupid dog! Now you stepped on my foot!" Lisa cried, feeling Pushkin make his way over her new shoes.

          RRRRRRROOOOOOOFFFF!!!  MEEEOOOWWWW! Tom felt Spear brush past him.

          "There you are!"

           Tom dove to the ground, attempting to catch his cat.  But Spear slipped right through Tom's fingers, like a wet bar of soap.  Tom dove again and he grabbed him. This time he held firmly, and Spear didn't escape.

          "Ha! Gotcha!" Tom said in triumph.

           Tom stroked Spear soothingly and his cat began to calm down.

          "Now to get out of here," Tom said looking up at their attic, "and that's not going to be easy!"

          "So what are we going to do?" asked Lisa, remembering the problem herself.

          "How 'bout this. I'll climb on your hands, and pull myself up.  Then I'll help you."

          "No way!  I'm not letting your dirty old shoes get dirt all of my hands.  Let me climb up."

          "No way, you wimp! Why should you get to be the one to climb up?"

          "Why should you?"

          "Fine," Tom said, being quite stubborn, "no one will!"

          "Alright, we'll just rot down here!"

          "Fine with me! I'd be glad to!  But can you handle it?"

           So, instead of anything in the vicinity of rationality, they began walking aimlessly in the dark.  Neither one really had any idea what to do in this situation. So they walked farther and farther into the long passageway until they must have been a quarter of a mile away from their attic.  Neither one questioned how such a large passageway fit beneath their attack when with all normality their second floor should have been in its place.

          As they continued, they found it was impossible to judge time or distance in this dark place, but they both knew they had to go on.  They had no other choice.  Neither one was sure whether the were going up or down, or right or left. They tried not to think about where they were headed, or if indeed, they were headed anywhere at all.

          Soon they found they could no longer stand, and resorted to crawling like animals on their knees.

          They continued in silence, though they were both outraged at each other.

          Suddenly, they found that the ceiling once again was lowered.

          "Tom! How are we going to get past this, huh?"

          "I don't know! I guess we'll have to get on our stomachs."      

          So, they lowered onto their stomachs, scooting forward with their hands.

          Spear and Pushkin continued behind them, finding that they could still stand.

           The ground was rough in texture, and would occasionally be quite painful.  But they continued forward anyway.

          Suddenly they felt something hard and cold in front of them.  

          It was a boulder.  A boulder, completely blocking their path.  And the passage was so narrow, it would be impossible to turn around.

          "Oooh! No! What are we going to do, Tom?"

          Tom had no idea.  He was just about to ask that himself.

 

V

THE LAND OF DOGS

          “I guess if I could just push a little, it might..."  he pushed hard, yet only sore arms resulted.

          "Let me try," said Lisa, climbing over him in the dark.

          "Fine!  Go ahead and try!  It's useless!"

          She pushed hard, and inch by inch, she pushed it forward to find the ceiling was a good deal taller, and they could now crawl over it.  They were free.

          "WHAT!" Tom said, annoyed his sister had been stronger than him. "Well, I obviously loosened it!" He didn't even think to thank his sister for saving his life.

          As they continued they found the ceiling consistently getting higher and higher, and soon they could stand quite easily.  All four, pets and children, continued in silence, at least now in a little more comfort.

          Then Tom spotted something. It was small and in the distance.  But it was definite.  It was a light.  The wonderful sight of light!

          "Lisa!"          

          "Tom, I'm trying to catch my breath, okay?  I did kind of almost die."

          Tom had already had forgotten about that.

          "Lisa, it's light!"

          "Light?  Tom, don't toy with me!  That's not nice!"

          "No! Really!"

          Then Lisa saw it, too.

          "Tom!! Oh my God! WE'RE SAVED! It's got to be our yard, or in our neighborhood!  Oh, I don't care if it's China! We're saved!"

          And they ran screaming towards the wonderful sight.

          They were soon there, and they stepped out through the mouth of a cave. Just feeling the warm shimmer of sunshine was enough for them to laugh with glee.

          "We're saved!" Lisa hollered for one last time.  They were overjoyed to have made it out alive.

          Then they began to look around.  At first glance, they thought they had come out in their neighborhood.  They were standing on a dirt road with houses scattered here and there. But this wasn't their neighborhood.        

          "Tom, where are we?"

           Thomas shrugged. 

          "Tom, we're lost.  We must be miles from home!"

          "Maybe we could call our house from someone's phone.  I'm sure they'd be nice."

          "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

          But just then, a golden retriever walked down the road.  This wouldn't be unusual, except the dog was standing on his hind legs, fully clothed, and had a person tied on a leash.  The person was crawling around on his hands and feet, jumping about every which way.  He was far too rambunctious to be a person, but sure enough he was.  Not just that. He was buck-naked!

          "Tom! Oh my God! OHMYGOD! Do you see that?"

          A nod was all Tom could manage.

          Listening, they found that the dog was talking in a series of barks.  It was obviously some sort of dog talk.  The person, however, was blabbing about.  It sounded something like  "Agaga googon plasky."

          It appeared that the dog was trying to quiet down his odd pet.

          Tom and Lisa were both petrified with shock.  They were staring at the dog with such curiosity, you would think it was some sort of alien.  Of course, they really weren’t that far off.

          But as quickly as they had noticed the dog, the dog had noticed Tom and Lisa and was as flabbergasted as they were.  The dog, in a state of confusion, ran away, screaming in his canine language.  Pushkin ran barking after him. Soon, Pushkin was out of sight too.

          Tom shook away the shock, then realized their problem.

          Uh oh.

          How were they going to find Pushkin here?

VI

FOLLOW THAT FUR

          "PUSHKIN!!  PUSHKIN!!"  Tom called, his hands cupped around his mouth.

          "LISA, LISA!"

          "Will you shut up, Tom.  I'm just over here.  You don't have to yell."

          "WHAT?"

          "SHUT UP!"

          "WHAT?"

          "SHUT UP!!!"

          "Okay, Lisa, you don't have to yell."

          Lisa said something under her breath that I dare not attempt to repeat in a printed book.

          "PUSHKIN!!"  Tom and Lisa called again. "Com’ere!"

          They called again.  And again.  Until their voices were sore, and totally hoarse.

          Then, Lisa spotted something on the ground that seemed to interest her.  It was a piece of Pushkin's fur.

          "I've got it!"  Lisa said excitedly, as if she had deduced the murder in a detective story.

          "What?  You got his fur?  Big deal?  Here’s some more!  Wow."

          "That's the point, Tom!  He sheds like crazy when it gets hot."

          "Yeah.  So?"

          "So, look on the ground."

          "Yeah, I know he sheds.  What are we going to do?  Collect enough fur to build another dog? WHAT?" 

          "We can follow his hair and it will lead us to him."

          "Yeah, Lisa great plan!" Tom said in automatic mockery.  Then he thought about it. "Hey wait, Lis, that is a good idea!" Then he added: "Of course, I was just waiting to see if you could figure it out."

          A bit of hair here, a bit there.  They made their way up a winding dirt road. A forest of trees surrounded them, tall and twisted; they almost looked like the trees they had seen earlier in Mr. Warner’s yard.

          "Lisa, how long are we supposed to follow this?  We'll never make our way back--even if we do find the darn dog," Tom mourned, clutching Spear to his shirt.

          "Uh--a little more," Lisa said, getting a bit worried herself.  She'd never thought about getting any more lost than she had already been.

          They continued walking.  Spear was starting to get tired of being held in Tom's arms, and he was meowing like mad.  Every few minutes they'd see a dog doing what dogs normally wouldn't do.  A small Chihuahua was hanging up her clothes to dry, and a black lab was playing catch with his friend.  By now they were getting used to it.  The dogs, however, not used to a human walking around on two feet, would bark in surprise or occasionally faint. It was what they grew to expect, though it wasn't the most flattering reaction possible.

          As they continued, Pushkin's fur was always there, reminding Tom of the breadcrumbs in Hansel and Gretel.  He only hoped they didn't meet and evil old witch, and in this place, you never knew...

            They trudged on and on.  Many more hours passed.  They didn't know how much longer they could walk.  Then, all of a sudden they came to a little stone building.  It had a big white sign.  Neither Tom nor Lisa could read it, because of the odd language it was written in, but they assumed it was a restaurant.

          "Let's stop here.  It looks like a restaurant.  I'm starved!"  Lisa said, rubbing her stomach.  She hadn't eaten since breakfast at eight.

          "Lisa, don't be ridiculous!  This is a land of dogs.  All the food will be dog food.  They won't have anything for us!"

          "Oh shut up, Tom!  You don't have to be so smart, you know!  Let's just check, okay?  It can't hurt.  Besides I'm almost ready to eat Kibbles and Bits myself."

          "Fine."  Tom wouldn't have given in except he was famished, too.

          Tom swung open the door, and walked in, with Lisa right behind him.

            There was a tall, white poodle at the counter managing the place.  There were four other dogs sitting at a round table drinking water and eating bones, dog food and other dog delicacies. They had cards in their hands and most were smoking pipes.

            When Tom and Lisa walked in, a lab and a cocker spaniel fainted.   A beagle and a rat terrier ran away barking like mad.  As for the poodle at the front, he just stood there trying to believe what he was seeing.  Spear, seeing his natural enemies, arched his back, sprang out of Tom's arms, and hid behind the counter.  As the animals wildly barked at each other in shock, Tom looked around.  No sign of any human food.  There was nothing but some chairs, a table, dog food and a television with two dogs chasing their tails in what appeared to be some sort of sport. There was some meat, but it looked almost raw and inedible to Tom's eyes.

          "Great," Tom cried.  "Now we're gonna starve!!"

          "Wait," Lisa said.  "If we were at home, where would we get pet food?"

          "At the grocery store!"  Tom and Lisa yelled in chorus.  Tom grabbed Spear and they all bolted out the door.

          The continued on the same dirt road.  Passing many buildings and houses, they finally found what appeared to be a grocery store.  It was about 7:00 by then and the sun was starting to set in a crisp golden red.

           Tom walked in front of the door and waited for the door to let him in. Automatic, just like at home.  He noticed some writing on the door, but he couldn't understand it.  One thing he did notice was a human crossed out, with some writing below. Well, they'd have to ignore that sign for now,

          The store resembled a human grocery store, except that the only occupants of the place, besides Tom and Lisa, were of the canine species.  As Tom and Lisa walked down the aisles, it was fun to watch the dogs slowly notice them, one by one, and slowly fall to the ground or run away.

          Walking through the aisles, they noticed many things you would find in a human store: paper towel rolls and bars of soap, but, so far, nothing edible.

          Tom wandered down a separate aisle from Lisa.  After a five-minute hunt he found what he was looking for.  It was apparently the pet-food aisle, but the shelves contained everyday human foods.  A pizza here, a piece of pie there.  No human in a gourmet restaurant could ask for more.

          "LISA!!"  Tom hollered.

          "Didja find it?"

          "Yup!", he shouted: "Over here!"

          Lisa came running down the aisle.  They both bent over and ate like gluttons.

          Tom was busy stuffing bits of food into his pockets for later, when a dog spotted them.  He didn't faint or bark madly as the others had, but walked sternly over to them, his pink tongue hanging out of his mouth.  Spear, seeing the big dog, crept into Tom's gray sweater, so as not to be seen.  The dog bent over and shook his index claw, then started to bark something in his canine tongue.  He took a rope and fastened it tightly around Tom.

          "Stop, no, get off me," Tom yelled.

            Of course the dog paid no attention to the "Gibberish" but fastened another rope around Lisa.  It wasn't until the dog pulled them out of the store and threw them in a truck that they knew where this dog was taking them.

 

VII

 

THE PEOPLE POUND

          The dog threw them out of the truck and led them into a brick building.  The windows were barred, and Tom peaked inside seeing hundreds of brain-dead looking humans sitting patiently. No doubt about it--they were at a pound.  The dog muttered something in his canine language and threw them into a cell.

          "Great," Tom moaned,  "How are we supposed to get out of this one?"

*   *   *

          Tom and Lisa just sat quietly in the corner of the musty cell.  It seemed so cruel to be locked up in a decaying old jail for doing absolutely nothing. Though, Tom quickly realized, it was done to pets in Tom’s own world all the time.  BEEP BEEP!  Tom's watch announced the half hour.  It was nine-thirty.  Tom yawned and lay down on the cold cement floor.  Lisa did the same.  Normally, Tom and Lisa would have complained about going to bed this early, but there was no denying this had been quite a strenuous day.

* * *

          As morning light crawled over the Land of Dogs, Spear rubbed up to Tom, the way he did when he wanted food.  He must be hungry; he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning.  Tom looked over in the corner for food.  There was some mushy slop. Nothing like the gourmet human food they'd found in the grocery store. This stuff looked like gruel. But would his cat eat gruel?  Tom wouldn't eat that slop.  How could he expect his cat to?  On the other hand, Spear ate dead mice heads and bird legs.  Somehow, he didn't think he was too persnickety about choosing what he consumed.  He decided to let him try it.  Spear sniffed the plate, not sure whether to eat it or not.  He took a bite, then another.  He seemed to like it.

*   *   *

          The first of the things to do was to get out of the cell.  Was it possible?   Of course not.  These dogs weren't stupid.  This cell was made to hold prisoners--not to let them escape.

          Escape.

          Escape from a pound.

          It all seemed so crazy.  He should be in school.  His teacher should be yelling at him.  How had this happened?

          Just then Tom noticed something.  There was key hanging on the shelf outside of the bars.  It was so obvious.  It was right there in front of him, yet it was untouchable.  So close yet so far away. Tom realized now how that cliche got started.

          He could never reach it. Ever!  Unless...Unless, he could shrink, Tom thought.  Shrink! To about the size of a cat!  But that was impossible! He couldn’t shrink to the size of a cat! And there weren’t any cats around who could-- “Wait! Spear's a cat.  Cats are the size of cats!” Tom suddenly cried!  Could Spear fit through?

          "Lisa, I've got it!"

          Lisa yawned.  She had just awoken from a deep sleep.

          "I know how to get out of here."

          "Huh?"

          "I know how to get out of the cell!"

          "Nice, Tom."

          Lisa lay back down on the cement.  Both of them had a real problem with getting up, although today Tom had gotten up without much fuss.

          "Don't you care?  I know how to get out of the cell!"

          "Tom, leave me alone.  I don't care about your stupid dream. I have to get up soon for school."

          "Lisa, we don't have school today, okay? Just get up."

          Lisa wasn't listening.  In fact, she had drifted back to sleep again.  Tom shook his sister as hard as he could.  She opened an eye and said, "Get off me, Tom," then quickly went back to sleep.

          Pressing a few buttons, Tom set his watch to "High Volume Chime."  The shrill sound went quickly to Lisa's ears and she sat up holding them.

          "Tom! Turn that stupid watch off! I'm trying to sleep."

          "I'll only turn it off if you listen to my plan," Tom threatened, "and my watch is not STUPID!"

          "Fine. Whatever. What's this dorky plan?" 

          He turned it off, then began to explain, "There's a key on the other side of the room, right?"

          "Yeah, great, there's a key on the other side of the room.  If that's what you got me up for I'll--"

          Tom cut her off short.  "There's more!  We could send Spear out to get it and he'd bring it back to us.  Then we'd unlock the door."

          Lisa wasn't too thrilled with the plan.  She had never believed that Spear had half a brain.  Tom had great confidence in him, though--probably because he was his very own cat.

          "Tom, Spear is not smart enough to get that key."  And with that, she lay back down.

          Lisa's opinion didn't bother Tom.  He was sure of his cat's abilities.  He picked Spear up, to the squirms and kicks he had expected.  Spear could stand to lose a little weight, thought Tom.  Now the fact that Spear resembled Garfield didn't seem so comical.  It was going to be a tight squeeze.  He stuck Spear’s head through first, then managed to get the rest of him out. He dropped him with a thud.  Just as fast as he was relieved at the first success, his cat lay down in the pound's hallway.

          "No, kitty," he yelled,  "Get up!" 

          Spear obviously did not care to help, because he didn't move an inch.

          "Spear.  Work with me.  Get up and get the key and bring it to me."

          The cat did nothing but continue to lie on the ground.

          Tom turned around to see Lisa's I-told-you-so face smirking at him.  Not that she was happy that she might never get out of the cell, but she was just the kind of person who had to be right.

          "Spear, up.  Come on, get up!"

          Spear meowed.  He rolled up on his back.

          "GET UP!!!!!!" Tom boomed, his face turning red.  "If you don't get up this instant I'll--I'll"  Tom was having trouble deciding what he was going to do.  It's pretty hard to threaten a cat who doesn't like anything but food.  Wait!  That's it!          "Spear, if you don't get up this instant, I won't give you any more of that gruel!"

          He got up.

          "Now, jump!"

          Spear jumped.  He hit the key with his paw.  He had known what to do the whole time.

          "Bring me the key, " Tom ordered.

          Spear lay down.

          "Spear, remember our deal?"

          Spear's ever-persistent appetite seemed to kick in, for he got up and grabbed the key with his mouth, then gave it to Tom.  He actually looked ashamed to have done what he had been told.  It wasn't like Spear to listen to humans, even though he plainly understood every word they said.

          "YES!!!!" Tom yelled so loud that the building shook, while Spear quickly devoured his prize.

          "Tom, shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

          "Lisa, I got the key!"

          "Great."

          "Now we can get out of here!"

          "Swell."

          "Lisa, will you stop being so sarcastic?"

          "What's sarcasm?" was Lisa's retort.

          "Will you shut up, wart lips!" Tom said, wishing he could think of a better insult than that.  Their childless name-calling really wasn’t one of their better habits and made them sound quite pathetic. Tom dropped the key in Lisa's lap.

          "What's this?" Lisa asked, staring at the key.

          "A key, duh!" Tom said, now in a sitting position.

          "I mean, where'd you get it?  Spear?"

          "No. It fell from the sky. Spear had nothing to do with it," he remarked sarcastically.

          "Oh, shut up."

          Tom eagerly grabbed the key from Lisa. He reached his arm through the bars of the cell and placed the key in the lock on the door. With a turn of his wrist, the door easily  slid open.

          "Free!  Free at last!"

          Tom and Lisa ran out of the cell and out through the front door, squinting at the bright sun. They'd been extremely lucky that there hadn't been a guard watching them, though most of the humans they had been imprisoned with weren't bright enough to plan an escape anyway.

          Tom was happy. This time he really had solved a problem himself. He always acted smug but in his heart of hearts, he knew he was a real wimp.  He thought to himself how much more brave he felt, he was almost ready for anything now. The energy of saving the day made him feel like continuing, saving the day some more.

          And that’s when he remembered their other predicament.  To find Pushkin...

VIII

THE CASTLE

          "Now, let's see," Tom said.  "We're, according to my calculations, southeast of the track of fur.  If we go one mile in that direction, we will be exactly where we left off!"

          "Sure, Tom, whatever you say!"

          Lisa didn't believe a word of what Tom said, but she had no plan to find Pushkin herself, so she followed Tom.

          "Tom, we aren't ever gonna find the fur."

          "Aw, don't be so impatient.  We've only gone about a quarter of a mile, and if we catch the right hook in this pathway, the eastern star will point us on our way!"

          "Tom, don't act like you know what you talking about. Just because you forced that dumb old cat to get your key doesn’t make you Superman!  We've gone five miles by now, at least."

          "You just don't have any sense of direction or space!  It takes an expert like me to know we've only gone a quarter of a mile.  And I am Superman!" Tom replied.

          They walked for a mile more before Lisa got fed up and started off in the other direction.

          "You can go this way if you want!  But I'm turning around!"

          Tom had no choice but to follow her.  So he ran down the path in that direction, Spear held firmly in his arms.

          The thorn bushes and sickeningly thick poison ivy plants soon turned into a narrow dirt path, and the dark, shadowy forest yielded to the more welcoming flow of sunlight.  Soon they found their way back to the pound.

          "Great job, Mrs. Navigator!  Now we're back where we started!"

          "Look!  Here's some of Pushkin's fur!" she said, lifting a tuft from the ground. "We went all that way and it was right in front of our noses!"

          Tom growled something unpleasant under his breath.  They followed the fur, through thick forests, past rushing rivers, until it finally came to a stop. 

          They were in front of a tall stone castle.  The fur went up to the moat and then continued at the front steps.  Someone had apparently opened the drawbridge for Pushkin, but now it was shut.

          "Tom, how are we gonna get into the castle?  We could never jump across that huge moat."

          The moat was at least twenty feet wide.

          "Whadda ya mean, `no way'.  We'll just dive in and swim across!"

          "Are you nuts?  There could be alligators in there, and besides--besides, I'd get my new shoes all wet."

          "Aw, don't be such a wimp.  There's no other way to get Pushkin.  And you want to see him again, don't you?"

          "Yeah, but I don't wanna be an alligator's dinner!"

          "Fine, be a big wimp."

          And with that he handed his cat to Lisa and plunged into the moat.  He took a few strokes.  He had almost reached the end when he felt something swim under him.

          "Oh, so you decided not to be such a wimp, eh?  I really didn't think you'd get in, Lisa."

          Tom looked up at his sister at the top of the moat. If that was Lisa, then who was in the water with him?

          "Bu--bu--but-h-how can y--"

          Tom looked at what he had mistaken for Lisa swimming with him in the water. No, it wasn’t his sister. It was something much bigger, much uglier, and much more ferocious.   He could only make out it’s outline as it swam towards him, but he could tell it wasn't something he would be happy to see. Suddenly it lifted its head out of the water and led out an ear-shattering cry; it was a giant, ferocious, purple sea serpent. And it was coming towards Tom with a hungry expression spreading across it’s face.

 

IX

THE SERPENT

          Tom tried desperately to scramble up the side of the moat. He had almost reached the top.  Just a little more.  Just a little more.  Stones began to tumble from the sides. Just one more inch...one more inch...

          The stone he had been clinging to suddenly tumbled into the water, and Tom found he had nothing to hold on to.  His body made a large splash as it plummeted into the water.  The giant monster licked his lips. 

          Lisa couldn't just watch her brother be devoured by a hungry monster.  "I'll save you Tom!" She screamed as she jumped, Spear still in her arms.  SPLASH! 

          The monster snapped at Tom.  Its massive eyes were staring at him with a look of hunger.  Its tongue reached out and pulled Tom into its gigantic mouth. Tom flayed and kicked, yet he couldn't squirm out.  The mouth started to close.  Its huge teeth would probably kill Tom with one touch. 

          "Lisa, do something!"  The mouth was closing in on him.  Lisa looked around.  She had to think quickly.  Seeing nothing but her cat, she scooped him up and flung the animal hopelessly at the monster.  Spear scraped his claws down the monster's back. 

          The monster growled in pain and with a huge breath spit Thomas nearly a hundred feet into the air.  He landed on the castle roof.  Spear, with a look of pure terror and disgust, managed to swim into Lisa's arms again.  Knowing that Tom had escaped, the monster eyed Lisa.  It swam towards her.  Lisa kicked at it, but it was no use.  The monster grabbed her by the foot, making a noise that sounded almost like cackling.  It stuffed both Lisa and Spear into its mouth.  A shrill scream filled the air.  It was followed by a long, loud belch erupting from the monster's belly.  It had eaten them whole.

X

KING PUSHKIN

 

          "Ooooh!" was the noise that came out of Tom’s mouth, as he listened to the sickening noise.

          The noise of a serpent eating his sister.

           Things were happening too fast for him.  And now he was all alone.

          Alone in a land of dogs.

          What this just a twisted dream?  Had he been reading too many fantasy books?

          No.

          You didn't feel this kind of fear in a dream.

          He couldn't think about it anymore.  He looked around, and suddenly remembered he was standing on the top of the highest tower in this castle. The trees and buildings below were tiny as he looked down, and he could see for what looked like miles, though, Tom's ancient stone house was no where in sight.  But the view just made him realize there was no chance of jumping.  There was an open window a few feet down.  If he could reach it he might be able to get back down and...

           And what? He could never face his parents now—without his sister.  But he couldn't stay on a castle roof forever.  He had to get home.

          He lowered himself slowly onto the ledge, slightly ripping his sweater on a stone.  Clinging to the walls, he managed to slip into the window.

          He found himself in a long brightly lit hallway.  A red rug covered the floor and seemed to continue forward forever.  The walls were lined with paintings of dogs dressed in remarkably fancy costumes.  Tom searched the hall for any sign of an exit, but it seemed he was walking through the same stretch of five feet again and again.  He'd been searching for a while when he passed someone in the halls.

          "Hi Lisa", Toms said casually.  It took Tom a while to realize what he had said.

          "WAIT...HI...LISA?" he repeated, his mouth open in shock,

"Lisa--H-how did you--I mean--How?"

          "Oh, easy," Lisa replied, smugly holding her cat.  "The monster got a terrible case of the hiccups!  He simply hiccuped me out.  Then I came in here to find Pushkin!"

          "Lisa!  I thought you were a goner!" He cried happily.

He almost hugged her.  Almost...

*   *   *

          "Tom!  Tom, look at that!  That picture's of Pushkin!"  Lisa said, pointing at a portrait on the wall.  It hung beside another of a small beagle.

          "Don't be ridiculous, Lisa!  Who would paint a picture of Pushkin?  These are probably portraits of kings and stuff."

          “Oh, yeah?  Well, look at that on the ground!"

          "It's Pushkin's fur!"

          "Well, what are you waiting for?  Let's follow it!"

          So Tom and Lisa followed the fur down the hall.  It finally led them to a room.  Their big dog was sitting on a throne.  He was holding a scepter, wearing a crown and a purple robe trimmed with ermine.

          "It's Pushkin, Tom! Look!" Lisa yelled.

          "He's all dressed up like a king or something." said Tom pointing.

          "C'mon, we've got to get him!"

          "Wait a minute!"  You can't just walk in there!  They're all dogs!  They'd probably ship us off to the pound again!"

          "Oh, you're right Tom!  We'll never see him again."  Lisa almost started to cry.

          Suddenly, a big cloud of smoke exploded out of the ground, and POOF!  A chubby old lady appeared.  She had gray hair and wore a vivid blue dress.  "Well, what is it, dearies?  Glass slippers?  A coach?  Speak up now!"

          "W-w-w-ho are you?" Lisa asked the little old lady, slightly shocked, but half expecting something like this to happen at the same time.

          "I'm your Fairy God Mother, of course, Dear! Now what's wrong?"

          It was Tom who answered.  "Um-um-uh you see, we um kinda lost our dog.  You see, um, ma'am, this land is only dogs.  And my dog's king.  What I mean is Pushkin's king and we can't get him 'cause they'd ship us to the pound!"  Tom didn't make too much sense, but the fairy seemed to understand.

          "Well, dearies, you do have a predicament!"

          "Yeah, we can't get him unless we're dogs!" Tom cried.

          "Well, then!  What are you waiting for?" And with some complicated words and the wave of a wand, a German shepherd appeared in Tom's place.

          "Tom--you're--you're a dog!"

          "Now, deary, you can understand what the dogs are saying.  And you can talk in their language as well as ours."

          Tom, getting used to his dog form, walked into the throne room.  "Well, here goes nothing," he said.  His voice had changed.  It sounded low and scruffy like a bark.

          King Pushkin immediately barked a few barks to his bodyguards.  Tom, to his surprise, could actually understand what he said.  As Tom recalls, translated the barks meant:

          "What is this pauper doing in my throne room?  Get him out of here at once!"

          Tom tried to speak, but he couldn't remember which language he was supposed to be talking in and all he managed to say was "WAIT!"

          But no one waited.  The guards had picked up Tom and lifted him high above their heads.  They carried him down the hall.  He was taken to a big gold elevator.  The guards pushed some buttons and the elevator started going down.  When the doors opened, the dogs continued down the hall til they came to a door.  One of them opened it, then kicked Tom outside.  He landed with a splash in the moat.

          "Here we go again!"  Tom thought as the serpent swam towards him.

 

XI

TOM IS EATEN

         

          The monster was getting closer.  Tom barked at it in fear.  It was right in front of him now.  It towered over him like a building.  He could barely make out the head that looked as if it was just about ready to bump into the sky. All he could tell was that it was drooling.  Tom's fur stood on end.  He kicked but there was nothing he could do.  The monster picked him up and stuffed him in his mouth like a walnut.

*   *   *

          Lisa was getting worried.  Where could her brother be?

          "Uh, Miss, uh, fairy.  Do you know where my brother is?  After I saw that dog taking him somewhere, he hasn't come back.  He's been gone for almost fifteen minutes!"

          "Well, deary, I can tell you exactly where he is.  I'll just check my crystal ball."  The fairy waved her wand and in an instant she was holding a crystal ball.  She rubbed the glass, muttering some magic words.

          She waved her hands around it and mumbled to herself, then announced: "Bad news.  I'm afraid that your brother is inside the belly of the serpent, deary."

          "But, I was in the sea serpent about an hour ago.  The monster hiccuped me out in about ten minutes.  It wasn't exactly pleasant in there.  I got my clothes all slobbery, but at least I got out!"

          "Well, dearie, when the monster swallowed you he was scheduled for a case of the hiccups.  And the problem is, according to my crystal ball, the serpent isn't scheduled again for another sixty years!"

          Lisa gulped. "No! Please help him! Can't you make the monster get a case of the hiccups with your magic?  I mean, aren't fairies supposed to know how to do that kind of thing?

          "Well, it's a very complicated spell, but I think I can manage it in about an hour and a half."

          "Good!"

          "Not really, dearie.  There isn't enough air in that serpent's belly to last ten minutes!"

*   *   *

          Tom was scared.  It was dark and rough looking in the belly.  It looked like he was inside a cavern.  A very wet and slimy one.

           The throat was so long he could barely see the top.  He wouldn't be able to climb it.  He'd have to sit there and wait.  But Tom didn't know that in about ten minutes there wouldn't be anything left to wait for...

         

 

XII

THE SEARCH FOR THE SPELL

 

          The fairy's fingers ran through her book of spells.  She couldn't fond the right one.

          "Let's see ... to change into a dog...No, that's not it ...a cat ... a hippo . . .where could it be?  Oh deary me!"  She continued flipping through the book.

          "Ah, dear!  I think I've got it!

                              Jigaldee pigaldee

                              Piggaldee deeeee!

                              Iggalee! Pigaleee!

                              Alakazee!"

 

The fairy chanted.

          Lisa suddenly gave a loud "hiccup!" Once more, "hiccup," and then "hiccup, hiccup, hiccup!"

          "Oh dear!  The wrong spell!  I made you hiccup!  Dear me! This spell has simply got to be in this darned book!"

          Lisa, in the meantime, was trying to stop the hiccups that erupted from her throat, but it was no use.

          "Oh dear, those hiccups will wear off in a few minutes."  The fairy was flipping through the book again.

          "To turn into a log...a snail!  Dear me!  Where could this spell be!"

*   *   *

          Tom, cowering in the giant serpent's belly, was gasping for breath.  There was only a little air remaining.  He lay down, almost fainting.  He coughed twice.  It was looking hopeless.

*   *   *

          "Deary!" the fairy cried, "I can't find the spell.  Time is running out.  I'm afraid there's only two minutes left!  And they'd strip my fairy badge in a second if I can't save your brother!  A wart hog...no!  Where is it?!  To make a dog hiccup...getting closer!

*   *   *

          Tom was miserable.  He could hardly even manage to breath.  He held his breath so he wouldn't use as much air.  Not that it helped much...

          He didn't have much time...

*   *   *

          "...a mule...a rabbit..."  The fairy was flipping faster than ever.  "Here we go!  To make a serpent hiccup!"

                              oocha coocha!

                              bing bang bam!

                              alakazy! alakazam!

 

          Suddenly, there was a loud eruption.  The serpent was hiccuping!  In but a minute Tom had been hiccuped right onto the side of the moat.  He brushed off his fur and walked in the castle door, riding the elevator up.  He met Lisa and the fairy in the hall.

          "Hello!" he barked as if nothing had happened.

          "Tom, " Lisa called, "there you are!  Not too nice in there is it?  Weren't the serpent’s tonsils really disgusting looking? And boy, I wonder what that was he ate for lunch yesterday! EEEW!"

          Tom could only nod.          

          "Now," Tom said in his new gruff voice, moments later, "Obviously, we didn't think this through very well. I must look like a king, and then he'll actually want to talk to me!"

          "Dearie, that's a very good idea!  My specialty is sprucing up outfits!  Would you like a pumpkin coach to parade down the hall too, or is that a little overboard?"

          "Just the outfit, thanks," Tom barked.

          She waved her wand and gave Tom a robe, a crown and a scepter.  He was all set.

            He opened the door to the throne room and walked in.  Everybody bowed at the sight of this wealthy king.  Translated into English, this is what Pushkin said:

          "Greetings, fellow king!  I am King Pushkin, this land's new ruler.  How may I be of service to you?"

          "Well, I was wondering if you would come with me out in the hall for a minute,"  Tom barked.  He was quite surprised at how easily he had talked in dog language.

          "Certainly! I would love too!" barked Pushkin from his throne.

          Pushkin followed Tom into the hall.  Immediately, Pushkin recognized Lisa.  He remembered playing with her in the yard.  Pushkin walked over to Lisa and barked, "Lisa!"

          Now, even though Lisa had seen walking dogs, it was still a shock to see her own dog walking.  She nearly died of surprise.            "Pushkin!" she yelled.  And for the first time ever, Pushkin hugged Lisa.

          Tom began to explain to Pushkin what had happened.  He told him how he had found the fairy that had transformed him into a dog king.  It was all coming back to Pushkin.  All the memories, everything.  Pushkin told Tom he would come with them on their journey home. 

          Soon the spell wore off and Thomas changed back into his previous form.

          "Now, Mrs. Fairy: as for my wishes," Tom began, "I'd like to get out of this joint, first of all.  After that, I'd like a mansion--swimming pools inside and out.  Tennis courts--the works.  Then, on the top I want a yacht, a complete collection of comic books and---"

          "Good lord, dearie.  You are a greedy young man!  I'm afraid my business here is done.  I gave you two wishes and that's all you get!"

          "Two wishes?  Don't we get three at least?!  I mean, Aladdin got--"

"Bye, dearies!"

          And she vanished into the air.

          "Two wishes!" Tom mumbled, "hmmph! What a rip-off!"

*   *   *

          Tom and Lisa continued on their journey with Pushkin and Spear. 

          They wandered through the woods on the dirt path.  For awhile Pushkin strode confidently on two legs along with the rest of them, but soon he was back on all fours.  Evidently, they weren't in the land of dogs anymore, for he was once again his old self: a loveably stupid idiot.

          As their journey took them deeper in the woods, the sunlight began to slowly disappear.  It was dark and desolate here, and the shadows of the trees fell eerily along the path.  The trees looked half-dead and were bare of leaves, yet at the same time they looked quite alive.

             Their limbs were moving in an almost human way.  It almost looked as though they had something on their minds...something evil...

 

XIII

THE FOREST OF AFFLICTION

 

          "Who dares to enter my Forest of Affliction?!"

          "Uh, W-who-o s-s-said the-the-at?" Tom said getting very scared for there was no one else around.

          "It was I!  The King of Affliction!"  One of the trees began shaking its branches wildly.  That's the wind, Tom thought to himself, or it's someone else around here hiding behind a tree.

          "Tom!"  Lisa said in a whisper, "I think it was the tree!"  Pushkin barked at it.

          "Uh, M-mister t-tree, d-did you say that?"

          "Of course, you pitiful fool!  And would you please stop stuttering?"

          "Y-yess, m-m-mister T-Tree!"

          "There you go again!  And I have a name, you know!  I'm not just `Mr. Tree.'  I'm King Affliction!  And get out of my forest!"

          "W-well, Mist---K-King Affliction, I'd gladly get out of your forest but I can't.  I-I was wondering if you could give me directions to 1400 Maple Street?  You see, we got lost looking for my cat--an-----"

          "Oh!"  the tree interrupted.  "You're one of those earth people, eh?  You found one of those keys, I suppose.  Well, there isn't much way to get out of here.  Just be luck if you did.  And at the rate you're going, I don't expect you'll ever get home.  Now get out of my forest!"

          "Yeah!"  another tree joined in.  "We don't allow visitors in these parts!"  All of the trees started jeering at him. 

          Tom, Lisa and their pets ran down the trail, not looking back. They finally stopped to catch their breath.

          "Hello there!"  a squeaky little voice said. 

          Tom looked around.

          "Down here!" the little voice said.

          Tom and Lisa looked down.  There was a tiny little daffodil.            "My name's Daffy.  I hate it.  It makes me seem like a Looney Tune or something, but I'm just a little flower!"

          "Oh, uh--hi!" Lisa said.  She felt kind of odd talking to a flower, but she had no choice.  "My name's Lisa--and this is my brother, Tom--and my dog, Pushkin, and my cat, Spear."

          "I don't mean to pry," Daffy said, "but where are your leaves?  And good gracious!  What are you doing walking around?"

          "Well!  That's a stupid question!  Why because--because uh--I'm human! And aren't talking plants a little cliched?" Lisa replied.

          Suddenly, a tall tree swooped over and tapped Tom on the shoulder.  Tom swerved around.

          "I thought we told you to get out of our forest!  Now get out!  Out!  Out!"

          "I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to be trespassing.  I didn't mean to come into this creepy forest.  I didn't even mean to come into this land, where dogs act like humans!  Now trees?  I just want to get out of here!"

          "Out?  You want to get out?  I'll show you out!"

          "Thank you! Could you just give me some directions?" he asked.

          "Directions?  Humph! You won't be needing directions!"

          Suddenly, Tom, Lisa, Pushkin and Spear began sinking.  The ground under their feet had changed.

          "Pardon me," said Daffy,  who had up until then stayed quiet, "But aren't you standing in swift sand?"

          "Swift sand? I hope that's not anything like quick sand!"

          "Like quick sand? Well, not really," said Daffy.   "Swift sand is much, much, much, quicker!"

          "Yikes!" Tom screamed.

          The trees were laughing hysterically.

          Soon, Tom and Lisa were up to their knees in swift sand,  and they were sinking farther and farther every second. Pushkin barked as his tail became submerged.         

          The sand was over Tom's waist now.  It pulled him in, making an incredibly disgusting sucking noise, squeezing him like a viscous cobra.  Now he was up to his neck in sand, his face. He couldn't struggle anymore. His last gasp wasn't heard.

 

XIV

THE CAVE OF THE MONSTERS

 

          Tom opened his eyes.  He looked around.  It was dark.  Very dark.  The last thing he could remember was sinking in that horrible swift sand.  He was sure he had been a goner! Maybe he had been.

          Was he dead?

          Suddenly, a bright spot emerged a few feet away.  Was this the light you saw when you died? Was he supposed to head towards it?

          No. Someone had lit a match. Tom could see a sort of large creature that liked like a cross between a cat, a mouse, a rabbit and several other animals.  It was about three feet tall.  Tom could also see that his comrades, Lisa, Pushkin and Spear were all right and were sitting a few feet from him. Apparently, the swift sand had sucked them all into some sort of underground cave. 

          "Who are you?" Tom said to the weird creature.

          "SHHHH!! Don't be so loud! We don't want the monsters to hear us!" The creature sort of whispered and yelled at the same time.

          "Monster?" Lisa said looking at the creature.

          "Yes! They’re all over the cave! You have to be careful!"

          Pushkin stated to bark loudly.

          "Will you tell your dog to quiet down?! The monsters are sure to hear us!!"

          "Will you shut up about those stupid monsters?” Tom said confidently,   “I don't see any stupid--AHHHHHHHH!!!!  A M-m-m-monster!!!"  He began wheezing hysterically like Abbot and Costello in those old movies.

          A big, brutish-looking monster had come into view.  As it came nearer to the light of the match, Tom noticed it had four eyes.  It was a sort of greenish color.

          "Be very quiet!" the creature whispered, "These monsters don't see very well but are very sensitive to sound!"

          "A M-m-monster!!" Tom cried, staring at the gigantic beast, “haven’t we seen enough of these today?” It was making its way over to Tom.

          Two loud barks from Pushkin made the monster growl. It started to run over to where everyone was standing.

          "Great, Tom! We scared it!! Now what are we going to do?" yelled Lisa.

          "Well, we only have one choice,” he replied, “RUN!!!"

          Everyone except the creature started to run through the cave.

          "Come on!  What are you waiting for!" Lisa said to the creature, whose feet were moving but who was practically standing still.

          "I am coming!  This is the fastest I can go!  I have the disadvantage of being a species related to the snail!"

          The monster got interested in this easy to catch creature.  The monster picked it up.

          "Help!!!"

          No one helped.  The monster looked at the odd specimen disgustedly, then, with a roar, threw the creature into the darkness.  It landed with a sickening crunch.  The monster started toward Lisa.

          "Let's get out of here!  I don't want that to happen to us!" Lisa squealed.

          Tom, Lisa, Pushkin and Spear ran aimlessly into the darkness. The monster was close behind them.  They thought they might lose it, when they suddenly found themselves face to face with another one. It said something to the first monster.  Then they looked over at where everyone was standing.

          "GRUNT!! GRUNTTT! GRUUUUUUUNT!"  The monster called.  A stampede of monsters surrounded them on all sides.

          "Lisa!!  What are we going to do?  We're surrounded!"

          "It looks like this is the end!  It was nice knowin' you, Tom!"

 

XV

EATEN…AGAIN?

 

          "GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUUUUNT!" the monster snarled. It cleared its throat. "Excuse me, I had something lodged in my throat. As I was saying, you are my prisoner!"

          "Oh, great," Tom moaned.

          "Now come with me!"

          Tom, Lisa, Pushkin and Spear reluctantly followed the beast to a damp, cold dungeon.  The monster put chains around everyone's arms.  Even Pushkin and Spear.

          "I'll be back in twenty minutes for lunch."

          "What are we having?" Tom asked, finding he was quite hungry again.

          "You."

          "Oh.  Of course.  How silly of me. I should have realized from the title of the chapter."

          "Don't go anywhere, lunch!"

          "Yeah, like I have a say in the matter!" Tom mumbled, shaking his chains.

                                                  *   *   *

          "Lisa!  We have to get out of here!  The monster will be back in twenty minutes to eat us!"

          "These chains are so tight! There's no way to free ourselves!" Lisa said, struggling desperately.

          "Look!  Pushkin freed himself!  His chains must not have been tight!  Now he can save us!"  Tom yelled in glee.

          "Pushkin's too dumb to do anything of the kind!  I'm tired of your dumb ideas!"

          "I'd like you to think of a better one, toad face!"

          "Fine, try to make Pushkin save us.  See if I care."

          "Spear got the key for us didn't, he?  After you said he wouldn't!  Just watch! Pushkin will save us!!"

          But Pushkin really wasn't much of a hope.  And Tom knew it. Pushkin didn't even realize he was in any danger.

          "Pushkin!  Chew off our chains!"  Tom cried hopefully, "Come on!"

          Pushkin noticed a book on the table.  He loved to chew books!  He grabbed it in his mouth and began to chew.  First he ripped off the sides so you could see the binding.

          "No, Pushkin!  Don't chew the book.  Free us!"

          Pushkin ripped off the cover. Tom kept being persistent, however, and pleaded some more.

          "Please, Pushkin!"

          Pushkin ate the prologue.

          "C'mon, Pushkin!  C'mon!"

          Pushkin, after he had finished his odd feast, lay down under the large table for a nap.

          "No!!!  Bad dog!!  Bad Pushkin!!!"

          Pushkin didn't listen. Coughing up page 31, he shut his eyes, and quickly fell asleep.      

          There was a sound from Tom’s watch. Beep, Beep.

          "Tom, what was that?"

          "I set my watch for twenty minutes and--it's up," Tom cried as the monster returned for lunch.

 

XVI

RUN AWAY LUNCH

 

          "My lunch!  This is sure to be a grand feast!  You humans are my favorites!  A rare delicacy!  I only have a chance to eat one of you every few gazillion years!"

          The green monster walked over to Tom's chains, pulled out a key, and unlocked them.  Then he unlocked Lisa and Spear.  When he got to the last set of chains he realized one of his prisoners had escaped.

          "Oh! So one of you managed to escape, eh?  Well no matter! Those dogs have sort of a sour taste if you ask me.  And they're so much more common! One of those darn dogs wonders into my cave nearly ever millennium!  But humans!  So exotic! Oh and they're so sweet and chewy!  Fried!  I love them fried!  Oooh!  And with just a dab of salt!!  Mmmmm, mmm!" The monster licked his lips with the four tongues that he had. "Now! I want all of you in here."

          The monster carried over what looked like a frying pan, all though it was about a hundred times bigger. It reminded Tom of one of those Bugs Bunny cartoons, but he had a feeling he wouldn't be taking a bath in it while singing opera songs like Bugs always did.

          "Step right in, lunch!"

          "You mean you’re gonna cook us?” he screeched. “Couldn’t you just eat us raw and in one convenient, painless bite? Like that serpent! That wasn’t really so bad, just make sure you’ve got enough air in there ‘cause man, oh, man, that was almost a real pickle…” Tom rambled.

          "Quiet! Of course I’m going to cook you!  Who eats raw human?  Now where is that cook book?" The monster felt around on the table.

          "That's funny! I could have sworn I--" Then the monster spotted his cookbook on the ground, completely devoured by Pushkin.

          "My cookbook!  My splendid cookbook!  Now I won't be able to eat this wonderful food.  It will all go to waste!"

          He bent over to see how much damage was done.

          Tom and Lisa exchanged glances then, yelled together: "RUN!!!" 

          Tom scooped up Spear, called for Pushkin, who was still napping under the table, and they were off. They ran desperately down the cave.

          "Hey, lunch!  Were are you going?  Come back!  I might have another copy of the book!  I can still eat you!! All hope's not lost! Come back!!"

          The monster summoned a herd of monsters,  and the ferocious group started off after their food.

           Tom and Lisa were no match for the monsters in terms of speed. Soon, the beasts were no more than ten yards away. Tom and Lisa were getting tired.  The monsters didn't seem like they ever tired, and they probably didn't.

          "Tom! We have to hide. There's nothing else we can do! The monsters are sure to catch us fairly soon if we don't! I don't know how much longer I can go!"

          "All right!  We can hide behind that boulder! " Tom said, pointing.

          The boulder was big enough for everyone to hide behind, though it was a tight fit.  No one made a noise.  They just waited for the monsters to pass.

          "Where did they go?" One of the biggest of the monsters said.

          "I see them! There they are! Behind that rock! Foolish food!"         

          "Tom, they see us! There's nothing we can do!"

          "Yes there is, Lisa!  Look! We can just barely squeeze out through that opening in the ceiling of the cave! I think I see light there at the top!"

          "Get them quickly! They're escaping!" cried another monster.

          Spear went first. He made it easily. Next Pushkin went through. Tom made it out next.

          "C'mon, Lisa! Squeeze through!"

          Lisa started out. Halfway. She shrieked. The monster's cold hand was pulling her back in!

          "Tom, hee-elp!"

          Tom pulled at the other end. 

          Tom, of course, was no match for the monster in a game of tug-a-Lisa, but he wasn't ready for the monster to win either!  He gave one last tug that brought Lisa safely out.  When they were all out they looked around.  They were in a dark forest.

          "Why, they have escaped again!  We can never fit through that hole!" said one of the monsters.

          "No problem!! They can't escape from ME!" said another monster, widening the opening in the ceiling with his fist.        

          "Now after them!!"      

          The monsters jumped through the hole made by the monster's fist.  They were going even faster than before.  They were catching up with their prey.

          "Tom! They followed us! Now we are doomed!"

          "Not yet!" Never-giving-up-even-when-he's-dead-Tom said. "See that log over the river? We can probably make it across. But it would never hold their weight!"

          "No! Tom it will never hold our weight." Always-giving-up-because-she-knows-she's-dead-Lisa said.

          She looked down into the river.  It wouldn't be a fun fall. Tom started across the log and Lisa followed. It was wet and mossy.  They were nearly halfway across when Lisa cried:

          "Tom I think it's starting to give!!"

          "Nonsen-"

          CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

XVII

THE MORPHS

         

          "AAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Tom screamed as he fell down and down into the rushing river.  Lisa, Pushkin and Spear had already fallen but Tom had managed to grab hold of the edge for a little bit-- but now he had fallen, too.  He sputtered to breathe, and had that awful feeling in him, like his stomach was filled with rocks.  It was a pretty far drop.  He was treading water in the river along with Lisa. Pushkin and Spear were already on the bank shaking the water off. 

          "Tom, you’re such a dweeb.  You said that log wouldn't break! Now look at me!  My jeans are soaking wet!" Lisa complained, now joining Pushkin and Spear on the bank.

          "Well, sorry if I saved your life! I'm starting to wish I hadn't!  This is you!" Tom made a face, pulling his eyes as close to his nose as humanly possible.

          "Oh, shut up!"

          "Fine.  At least we lost the monsters." Tom swam up on to the bank now, too.

          "C'mon, Tom, we have to find home.  I'm sick of monsters.  Especially you!" Lisa said trying to wipe the water off her jeans.

           "Fine, then.  We can take this trail.  I bet Mom and Dad are worried."

          So Tom called Pushkin and Spear and they started off into the woods.  They were dark and deep, as were most of the forests they'd been through recently.

          They had journeyed for a while when the road split into three.

          "Tom, which way should we go?"

          "I dunno. But we probably shouldn't go that way." He pointed to a sigh that said: BEWARE THE MORPHS

           "What's a morph?" Lisa asked, as if Tom would have an oral report on morphs prepared.

          "I don't know. But we can ask that guy.  Maybe he can help us get home, too."

          "Tom, what are you talking about?  What guy?"

          "Him!" Tom said pointing to a man a few yards off, standing by a brick cottage.

          He was short, fat, and his ears were too big for his head.

          "How'd he get there? He wasn't there a few minutes ago." Lisa was puzzled.

          "Don't be ridiculous.  Of course he was there! I'm asking him." Tom walked over to the man.

          "Excuse me, sir," Tom said politely.

          "Why, hello my little man! What is it that you might be needing?"

          "Well. I was kinda wondering. I got lost and--Well, if I was going to 1400 Maple Street,  which route would I take?" Tom asked.

          "Oh! But, of course! Why, that one, to your right!"

           "A-are you sure?  Doesn't it say BEWARE THE MORPHS?"

           "Oh! That!! That was put up as a joke! Why-uh I've been meaning to take that down for ages! Fools a lot of people!"

          "So-you mean it'll lead home?"

          "Yes, sonny!"

          "But what is a morph?"

          "Oh. They’re funny little creatures. They can change into any form they want," he explained.

          "Really?"

          "Yes. But I don't think you'll meet any of those fellas. Even if you did, they’re quite harmless, really!" he said, starting up to his house.

          "Bye, sir. Thanks for the advice," Tom said, adding meaning to the word gullible.

          "Goodbye, sonny. Good luck."

          So, they started down the trail.  As soon as they had left, the old man cackled a blood curdling cackle and returned to his normal form as a morph.

*    *    *

          It was a gloomy trail.  They had foolishly trusted the morph and were about to meet the terror that could mean their doom.  But for now they were walking.  Walking in the pitch dark.

          "Tom! I have the feeling we are being watched!" Lisa said, looking around.

          "Oh!  You’re such a wimp!  You heard the man!  This is the way we go!" Tom said this as bravely as he could, but the truth was he was just as scared as Lisa.  Lisa was also beginning to think they were going in circles, but Tom turned down that idea, too.  It was getting darker.  Suddenly, Lisa stopped.  She seemed to be studying a rock.

          "What are you doing, Lisa? C'mon!"

          "Tom, there's something wrong with this rock!"

          "What are you talking about?"

          "I have the strangest feeling that this rock isn't a rock!"

          "Don't be ridic-" Then Tom saw it too.  It was unmistakable. There was a glimmer of life in its presence.

           "Lisa you’re r-r-right!"

          It was in about two seconds that the monster took form.  It was a hairy beast with big ears.  He wasn't all that big but he looked ferocious.

          "P-please! Don't eat us!" Tom said taking a few steps back from what used to be the rock.

          "Eat you? Eeeww!" The monster made a sour face.

          "You mean, you’re not gonna eat us?" he replied a little more calmly.

          "No, no!”

          “Good!” cried Tom, “because that’s certainly happened to me a lot recently!”

           “I just want you to join us!"

          "You want us to join you?" he yelped.

          "Yes!! I'm going to make you a morph!"

          "Well, thanks for the offer.  But I don't wanna be a morph!" Tom cried.

          "Neither do I!" Lisa said

          Spear meowed disapprovingly.

          "Surely, you want to be a morph! You have no powers the way you are!"

          "Well, I don't, thank you,"   Tom said firmly.

          "Well," the monster started, "if you refuse to come I'll have to enchant you in the body of another animal for all of eternity. That is your punishment."

          "I don't think so!" Tom had no intentions of being enchanted.

          "Come with me!" the monster said, motioning.  Tom, Lisa, and Spear all stayed where they were.  Tom was holding Pushkin back. Pushkin couldn't resist when someone said "come."

          "Fine. If you refuse to come, I'll just have to tie you up. Come on out boys!" Countless numbers of morphs disguised as trees, rocks, squirrels and other parts of the forest appeared.  Two morphs came and picked up all four captives.

          "No! Stop! Let us go!" Both Lisa and Tom were screaming to be put down. But Tom suddenly got an idea.

          "Hey! You know you morphs think you’re so cool! But I don't think so!"

          "Tom, shut up! You’re going to get us in so much trouble!"

          "You shut up, Lisa!"

          "I think that morphs are idiots.  Jell-O brains, if you will. And you can't do anything even a common earth magician can do!"

          "Don't listen to him!" Lisa screamed, "He doesn't know what he's saying!" Lisa did figure Tom had some sort of plan. She also figured it was a lousy one.

          "No, no, earth girl. Let your brother continue!"

          "I bet you can't really morph into anything!"

          "You think so?" The monsters were burning up.

          "Yeah, it’s all some kind of cheesy trick! Like the time I saw that magician at my little cousins birthday party. The rabbit was already in the hat! It’s something dumb like that. Why I bet, you can't even do something really cinchy! Like morph into a glass of water! Anyone can do that!"

          "We can change to water! We learned that the first day of morph school! And there are absolutely no tricks involved! Watch!" With that, all the monsters’ bodies dissolved into glasses of water.

          "Lisa! Quick, drink them!"

          “Huh?” she replied.

          “Drink the water before they turn back! Hurry up!”

          There were hundreds of glasses but they managed to drink it all up.

            "Well, our job here is done!" Tom said smugly.

XVIII

THE MORPHS STRIKE BACK

         

          Tom, Lisa, Pushkin and Spear walked through the woods the next day. Tom and Lisa had camped out in the forest during the night. Tom was triumphant about his success with the morphs.

          "I got those stupid morphs so bad!"

          Lisa nodded.

          "They're so-o-o-o stupid! Ha Ha! I DRANK the morphs! Ha-ha!"

          "Thank you Tom, I do appreciate it. I don't know what I would have done without that wonderful idea. What would I do without a brother like you?" Lisa said this without a trace of sarcasm.

          "Lisa! You're not supposed to say that! I mean you should be insulting me or---"

          "Oh, I apologize. Tom, you are a stupid jerk."

          "That's better, I guess."

          "WOOF,WOOF!"

          "What's Pushkin barking about?"

          "I do not know. It appears to be a rodent of some kind. Let us continue," Lisa said, robotically.

          "C'mon you dumb mutt! What's so great about a squirrel?" But Pushkin didn't move an inch.

          "Woof,woof!"

          Then the squirrel went to Tom and bit his leg.

          "Ouch! Dumb squirrel!"

          It bit him again.

          "OW!!!!! Probably has rabies or something!"

          Then he noticed the squirrel did look quite odd. The fur was almost blond, and the eyes were blue, quite odd colors for any squirrel.

          "Lisa! This squirrel bit me an-" Tom looked around. His sister had vanished.

          "Lisa? Where are you?" He called. Then he saw the morph where Lisa had been standing.

          "A morph! But I drank you!!" Tom cried in surprise.

          "Well, you did succeed in wiping out most of my species. But I'm afraid you missed a drop!"

          "What did you do with my sister?"

          "Your sister? Why I got rid of her a long time ago! Last night, to be exact."

          "What do you mean?  She was here a minute ago!"

          "Correction!! I was here a minute ago!"

          "Huh?"

          "As for your sister, well---" He pointed to the squirrel.  

 

XIX

 

UH-OH

 

          "No, Lisa! say it's not so! You’re lying! That's not my sister! Whadid you do with 'er!"

          "I'm afraid you're looking at her!" The morph said chuckling.

          "No,no! that can’t be her!" Tom said. He was furious.

          The morph laughed. It wasn't just a "laugh" but the kind that makes your blood bubble.

          "No one turns my sister into a squirrel! Not while I'm still alive! And I am!"

          "Alive?" cackled the morph, "Oh! That's just a temporary condition! It'll wear off quickly."

          "What are you gonna do with me then? Huh? What are you going to do?" Tom said, his voice beginning to quaver again, "Are you going to turn me into a squirrel too?"

          "Oh, no! Absolutely not!" The morph reassured Tom.

          Tom gave a sigh of relief.

          "No, your punishment is MUCH worse!"

          He gulped.

          "As for you'" the morph continued, "I'm getting kind of hungry. I'll make you a custard pie"

          "Thank you! That'd be quite lovely now, really."

          "That is," cackled the morph, "I'll make you into one!"

          Tom gulped again. "Listen you big palooka, no ones gonna make me a pie without a fight!" When Tom got mad at school, this was how he'd challenge the bullies. He was a fairly strong boy. Too bad this wasn't your run-of-the-mill bully.

          The morph laughed his blood-bubbling laugh again.

           "A fight, huh!" In an instant he had morphed himself into a huge fire-spitting dragon.         

           "Uh,oh!" was all Tom could gasp.

          "Now I will crush you like an ant!" Roared the dragon in a loud voice that he seemed to have picked up with his new form.

          "Wait no, please, DON’T!!!!"

          Tom shut his eyes and tried to imagine himself back at home. If he could just squeeze them tight enough, maybe he could open them to something new.  However, he opened his eyes to the same dragon he had shut them to. The dragon’s giant foot was raised.  And Tom held his breath. "Stop it you—CHICKEN!" Tom said this in a quite tiny voice. It was, nevertheless, heard.

          The morphed dragon looked down at Tom, which from there probably looked like a plastic GI-JOE, or something.

          "What did you just call me?" it roared.

          "Nothing" was the weak reply he got.

          "You called me a chicken!" he growled in a booming snarl.

          "Me?? Do you mean me?  ME? Why would I call you a chicken? It must have been the wind or something!" Tom said trying to chuckle.

          "You didn't? Too bad. If you insist you didn't, I'll have to go on with my plans, and squash you like a bug."

          "Wait a minute, chicken! You mean you thought I was telling the truth! Ha, I never tell the truth, you half-witted, wart faced CHICKEN!" Tom said a little confused.

          "Oh, now you’re just kissing up. "

          "Yeah? Well, when they were handing out faces you musta been out of town!" 

          "Hmm. I don’t quite get that one.” The monster said uncertainly.

          “It means you're ugly, you stupid monster! UGLY!!”

          “Ah, very good!! Very good indeed! I like your spunk!  Now I will make this a real fight. You will have all of my powers. If you win, you're free, if you lose, well that parts easy. See you at noon tomorrow. And we'll have your fight! Morph to Morph!"

 

XX

 MORPH TO MORPH

 

          Tom lay asleep on the cold forest ground. His eyes opened. He raised himself from the ground; a leaf stuck to his cheek. He yawned loudly and stretched,  rubbing the sand from his eye. Morning. Or was it still morning???

           Tom looked at his watch, 11:59. Uh,oh, again. As his watch changed to noon he looked up at the monster.

          "Let's begin," The monster snarled.

          He gulped.

          "But before the fight, I have to be fair. I promised you my powers." The monsters said, making a motion with his arm. "You may try them now."

          Tom looked like his normal self. Did he have powers? He thought about becoming a dragon as hard as he could. And in his place lay a dragon.

          "Cool!" said Tom experimenting a little more. He became a monster, a dog, an elephant.

          "Hey I wonder if I could morph into Mickey Mouse if I wanted to." Thought Tom. In his place the mouse came.

          "Wa-ho-ho-ho! That's cool!"

          "Enough!" the monster growled, "No more games! We must start this fight."

          Tom changed back from Bugs Bunny.

          "Hold on! I have to get ready."  

          Tom tried to think of the best monster to start out as. Let's see, he thought, that dragon the morph had before was pretty good. I'll try that. And so he pictured the dragon as well as he could and he immediately became it.

           "I'm ready!" he cried.

           Tom looked at whom he was up against. “Uh oh”, Tom whispered to himself. It was a massive creature about fifty feet taller than Tom, armed with spiked metal and with fire burning eyes.

          The creature came closer. He laughed an echoing laugh and shot a piece of fire at Tom's pitiful dragon. It fell back, wounded.

          "This just isn't good enough,” said Tom, imagining his new form. And he became the most ferocious dragon he could think of. But as his form was changing, he felt a tickle start up his leg.

          And where was the morph? He looked at his leg and saw a giant spider was making his way up. And then it bit...

          "Ow!" Tom screeched, holding his knee. It hurt, but he didn't look at it. Slowly, the spider crawled away.

           Before Tom could think, the dragon was back in front of him. Suddenly a breath of fire hit him. He jumped back in pain. Then he felt the snake around his body. Slippery and long.

          "Sssssssssay you prairsssssssss" it hissed.

          Tom felt the snake getting tighter and tighter around his waist. He was choking and gasping for breath. Then he got an idea. He armed himself with spikes along his chest, it would puncture the snake, leaving it helpless. But  before the morphed snake could even feel it, it became a crow flying away. Tom imagined he had a pair of wings too, and he flew up through the sky.

          He flew up higher and higher and he looked down at the ground below him. It felt so relaxing to fly. It was something he'd always dreamed of doing. But Tom didn't have time to relax...

          Then, in midair, Tom changed into a giant boulder. The biggest he could imagine being possible. He would crush the crow with himself! Crush it for good!  He dropped and dropped down towards the tiny crow. But the bird darted away. And Tom was falling down and down and down, still in the heavy shape of a boulder...nothing could break his fall…

          Tom smacked the forest ground with a loud thud, and shattered into thousands of pieces.

           The morph was looking down at the broken bits of his opponent, getting ready to start celebrating another victory. But he suddenly saw the tiny pieces each transform into giant monsters.  Tom was still alive. Alive and in thousands of separate pieces, each capable of attack. Each piece of Tom was now a growling, spitting and snarling monster.

          And all the morph could be was one monster. One against hundreds. And the hundreds of vicious monsters were headed right toward the morph in attack. It wasn't long before the morph had fallen to the ground, wincing with pain.

           Then Tom became himself again, and the rest of the pieces of stone, still in the shape of monster, ran of into the woods.

           As soon as the morph stopped breathing, thousands and thousands of the morphs forms flashed before Tom's eyes. All kinds of dragons, birds, dogs, cats---every known form. The final form left on the ground was that of a small beagle.

 

XXI

                   

A  DOG?

 

Tom edged over to the dog. This must be a trick, he thought. A very evil trick. The morph wasn’t dead, this dog would attack him, it would become a dragon. He went slowly now. His feet scraped the ground. He reached the dog and bent over to touch it. It squirmed.

          "He isn't dead! He's isn't!" Tom screamed, running backwards.          

"The morph's alive and ready to kill me!"

 But he saw the dog groaning and groaning and he couldn't help to feel sorry for the wounded beast. Even if he was a morph ready to play a trick on him.

He edged back again, still half expecting the dog to leap at him. But he didn't. It really was only a poor wounded dog.

          "Good sir," the dog said in a raspy voice that sounded like a dog trying to talk with an English accent, which is exactly what it was, "but could you help me up? I do say I've taken a good blow, although I dare say I can't remember when."

          Tom did what he was told.

          "Well, I'm sorry to say so, sir," Tom answered, now fairly sure the morph had lost his head, "but I am afraid I may have done it. Although, it was only after  you challenged me to a fight and tried to kill me!"

          "My God! Why I don't remember a thing! I give you my deepest apologies," the dog answered.

          "What I'm very confused about," Tom began, "is what happened myself. You are a morph aren't you??"

          "Of coarse not! You do not know better than that? You do not know me as your king? Your O-mighty ruler?" the dog said, now looking a bit disgusted.

          "Well I'm afraid," said Tom," that I wouldn't know. I don't live here. I'm from the planet earth. All I know is that I got lost looking for my cat and wound up fighting something called a morph. Then you came out of no where, and I just can't figure it out!"

          "I see," the dog said scratching his chin, somehow forgetting he had a wound the size of a basketball on his chest, "It seems to me, that I got in a fight with a similar morph to save my kingdom of the out of control magic that was spreading. I suppose I failed and that's all I can remember!"

          "So are you saying the morph challenged you to a fight?" Tom asked the dog.

          "Yes."

          "And you were to have all his powers?" he inquired further.

          "Yes."

          "And if you won, you'd be free of morphs forever?"

          "Yes."

          "And if you lost, you would be stuck a morph for the rest of your life? Never to escape again?"

          "Yes. I do say we've had quite similar experiences!" the dog said.

          "I agree. Is it possible that you lost and became a morph?" Tom asked the dog.

          "Yes, I'd say that was quite possible!"

          "And do you suppose you lived as a morph for so long you became evil?”

          "I can hardly believe it, but I'd say that was a definite possibility!"

          "And then challenged me to a fight and I won, therefore, giving you your original form back?"

          "I dare say you've hit it, old man! You are a rather bright fellow! So, I’ve been a morph all these years! Dear me, what a dreadful experience that must have been, though I really can’t remember a bit of it. I must formally apologize for being so inhospitable and possibly even a little vile, but it wasn’t really me, you know. If I had been in control at the time, I would have given you a nice tray of tea and crumpets instead of fighting with you. Fighting never got anyone anywhere, " the dog said.

          Tom was so wrapped up in his conversation that he hadn't even noticed his sister.

          "Lisa! Why, what happened? Why you're you again!"

          Pushkin started to bark and Spear meowed. They were both happy to have her back to normal again.

          "Let me introduce you to my sister Lisa and my cat Spear," said Tom.

          "Charmed," replied the dog.

          Lisa just looked shocked. She was still getting over the experience of being a squirrel for a day.

          "And you might like to meet my dog. Being the same species as him. Although I must warn you he doesn't speak English."

          "That's OK, "said the dog, "for I am better at speaking dog talk anyway."

          "I'm afraid," said Tom, "that he can't speak that, except when he's in the land of dogs."

          "Oh. So he's an earth dog then. I’ve seen case like this before. A dog is so excited to be in a land where they're in control that they're capable of their full potential of intelligence! But when they get out of its borders and start trying to please they're human owners they become disgustingly brain-dead! I see. But I must say he should now at least some dog talk, anyway. Every dog knows some."

          The dog seemed to say something to Pushkin, although Pushkin probably didn't understand.

          "How is it that you know English?” asked Tom, realizing that all the other dogs he’d met only spoke in barks and never showed any sign of hearing his English remarks.  “I didn't even know dogs had vocal chords. Although I suppose not everything, let alone anything, makes sense here!"

          "Actually, dogs do not have human vocal chords. But if they're with humans long enough, (considering they are the intelligent breed of dogs that live in this land) they pick up the language. For example, you don't have the same vocal chords as a dog, but you can make impressions of a dog barking can't you? I'm just making impressions of a human speaking, using my dog vocal chords."

          "I see," Tom said, although he didn't really see, "but when were you with humans long enough to learn it?"

          "Well, that, my friend, is a long story. Would you like to here it?"

          "Yes, actually."

          And everyone, including Lisa, who was now back to her senses, sat down to listen to the dog's story.

 

XXII

BEN'S STORY

         

"My name is Ben Reid, and I'm originally from the Land of Dogs. My father was the king, so when he died, I was to take his place. When I was seven or eight in dog years, I found an odd key in my yard.  One day I was exploring in the castle where I used to live, with my pet human. That castle used to be part of the land of dogs, though it has since been conquered and reclaimed. In fact, where we are standing, when I was a lad, was as well the land of dogs territory. This whole land was all the land of dogs and no humans had ever been seen to be intelligent. They were only pets.

Anyway, it was a stormy, misty night. Lightning was flashing through the castle's windows. I climbed some marble stairs. The castle was very large, and I'd never been in this area before. Then, something caught my eye. It was a keyhole. I fumbled in my pocket for the key I'd found and tried it. I didn’t even half expect it to work. It was only a try. But to my surprise: it opened. I found a trap door and I climbed down it with my trusty pet human, just to explore. But what I didn't realize was how deep it was, and I could not get out of the passage. I called and called for help, yet no one heard me. I walked aimlessly through the dark, and finally came to light. I thought I was free. But I came out in a magical world.  However, to you it wouldn't seem very magical. It was the magical land you call “earth”, or the “Land of People” to us. I was in a place that I later found to be a place called North Carolina--"

          "Hold on!" Tom and Lisa were screaming, "but that's just about what happened to us!"

          "Yes, yes I know! I figured that you had found the key when you said you were from earth.  That’s the only way you people wind up here. Now shall I continue?”

          "Please do," said Lisa.

          "The passage took me to a strange old house. It was quite curios in decor. And I learned of many magical things there. Like automatic sunlight and picture boxes. Under my leadership, we now have much of this magic in our own world now, but then it seemed very extraordinary. I was so busy looking round that I didn't notice my pet human had run off. Well, I couldn't find him anywhere. I called and called but he was no where to be seen. Then I saw what was then the shock of my life. Two little boys where living in the house! They were fully clothed and intelligent. It surprised me, though now, as you can tell, I have grown more used to it though it still gives me a bit of a start. These little boys were brothers. I later found out their names were Billy and George Warner--"

          "Hold on! George Warner lives down the street from us! When he was a kid he lived in our house! You must have come out in--our house! You lived in our house?” they both screamed.

          "You don't say? I was wondering what happened to old Georgy. How's he doing?"

          "Well he's a grumpy old man who almost sued me for illegal entry,” Tom answered.

          "Too bad. He was such a nice boy!"

          "For sure!" Tom said rolling his eyes.

          “He treated me as I would treat my pet human. He patted my head and talked quite annoyingly, like I was a baby or something! Back then I had no idea how to speak English but I think he asked his mother if he could keep me.  I did learn English quickly. And when no one was around I practiced the language. I thought it was more beautiful language than dog talk.  I was their pet for many years. I never let on to speaking English. I pretended to be dumb. But I actually understood every word they said.  I never found my pet human again, but I did keep that strange key with me for a very long time.

          "But even though I enjoyed living with the Warners, I wanted to be with my own kind again. I missed living with intelligent dogs. And I wanted to be king. So one day I decided I would return. I remembered the passage that had taken me there. So, I decided I'd walk down the dark passage, back to my homeland. And I finally came out in the land of dogs. But I had forgotten my key so I could never return to earth. I left it lying beside the secret door in the attic.

          "Hold on!" Tom cried making a connection, "I read Mr. Warner’s diary! He talked about losing you. He talked about finding the key by the trap door!” It was all sliding into place.

          "Yes," said Ben again, "I really should visit him sometime. He was such a nice kid.

          "Anyway, when I told the dogs living there the story, they were overjoyed to find me back again and I was made king as soon as possible. I ruled the land of dogs for many years. But one day we heard that another land wanted to own our land and take it over, killing out our race of intelligent dogs. This was a land of imagination, of what you might say ‘magic’. We had a war over this territory. Just as your land did many years ago, in the year that dragons roamed your earth."

          "Oh, you mean dinosaurs," Lisa corrected, "dinosaurs used to roam our earth."     

“Call them what you wish. But on earth, these dragons, or 'dinosaurs' as you call them, roamed the earth for many years. Then people took over.  Slowly, you became the land you are today. It was just like that here. We had a war to see which race was doomed to die out; we lost.  The land of dogs became a tiny fragment of its former self. And the magic of the other land spread... There were talking trees, underground monsters, and worst of all, the evil morphs. These creatures called morphs took over the woods. Where once happy dogs lived, morphs began to take over. Many dogs were turned to morphs, or even worse, trees and stones. It had to be stopped! We couldn't let our dimension be ruined by them! These were by far the most dangerous of any of the magic we had seen yet. They could do anything. So I went to settle this, but I never came back. For I lost the battle and became the morph which fought you. I do say, I should apologize once more."

          Tom realized this story made complete and perfect sense. It even explained why Pushkin had become the king, for they did not have one due to Mr. Reid’s absence as a morph. The dogs must have taken Pushkin's bizarre and sudden entrance as a sign that he should be the next king.

          "That was quiet interesting, Mr. Reid," said Tom,  “But do you think we could get out of this land? I want to go home, just like you did! We have the key!"

          "Go home?" said Ben startled, "Why what are you talking about?  You couldn't possibly ever make it. This new magic has made that far too dangerous. When I returned home there were no obstacle. You four are going to have to get used to living her, I'm afraid."

          "But we have to get home! I'm willing to go through any danger! Are you Lisa?"

          "Yeah. I'm dying to get home! I think we should give it a try!" Lisa said.

          "But, I'm afraid it's a very long journey. It's so high in the mountains, we'd have to ride the giant birds. It's pretty risky..."

          "I'm willing to take any risk! I say we go!" Tom screamed at the dog.

          "Me too!" Lisa chimed in.

          "Well, I suppose it's worth a try. I do know how you feel. But the odds of your survival aren't very good. You have to understand that!"

          Before he could say anymore Tom Lisa, Pushkin and Spear started down the path. They were on their way to excitement, danger, and maybe even death...                                   


XXIII

THE JOURNEY ABOARD THE GIANT BIRD

         

 

"O.K., Unless I've forgotten the way," Ben muttered, “the birds live somewhere along this route...but of coarse it could be this route...and there's this way...if we went south, we might come out...no...But that will never work...around here?"

          "He's as bad as you about directions!" Lisa whispered. Tom laughed a little. But he wasn't in a laughing mood.

          "I think  I've got it now! Oh yes of course! I see!" Ben cried.

          They walked for a bit. And the forest grew darker, and darker...

          "No this isn't it at all! I dare say I've forgotten after all this time! We're going to have to turn back," Ben said as if he'd expected this all along. Tom and Lisa both groaned in disappointment.

          Suddenly something white and feathery crossed his path.

          "Pardon me, sir," Ben mumbled, stumbling into the bird. "Forgive my clumsiness! Well, let's go children!"

          "Wait, isn't that a bird?" Lisa asked pointing at the feathery creature.

          "Dear me! No! You’re going to embarrass this nice gent! Oh, who am I to talk? Just the other day I bumped into a lamppost and said---" Ben looked startled all of a sudden. "Why I thought these were unpopulated woods! Now who would be out gallivanting around at this time of day? I do think there must be a law about that somewhere. I'll be sure to ask the king the next time I see him. Except that I am the king and I can’t very well ask myself." Ben looked up at the creature. "Oh! Well, that was rather silly indeed! This isn’t a gent at all! It's just a bird! A bird? Why didn't you two tell me we were going the right way the whole time?"

          So, all five of our heroes, animals and people, hopped on the giant bird.

Then winged creature started up. It flew low at first, but it soared higher and higher until things on the ground below them became little dots. Lisa began to look a little queasy.

          "Alright! Now I'm going to tell you guys to jump off the bird soon. When I say jump, I mean it!" the dog said making sure he didn't miss the spot.

          "HOLD ON!! You want me to jump off this bird? Are you crazy? Are you insane? This is crazy! I'm not jumping off any bird twenty million miles off the ground! And that's that!" Lisa was screaming as loud as she could.

          "Jump from here?" screeched Ben, "Dear lord! Without a parachute? We'll become squashed pancakes!" He seemed to have forgotten it was his idea to start with. "Mmmmm...That does remind me of a delightful breakfast I ate the other day. With that boysenberry syrup! The syrups my favorite part, you know. I could almost drink that stuff straight. But little old me, I'm not much of a drinker!"

          Tom and Lisa found it was much easier to ignore the dog when he began talking that way.

          "Well, I can tell you now! There's no way I'm jumping off this bird!" Lisa repeated.

          "C'mon Lisa! Where's your sense of adventure?" Tom persuaded, making sure his cat and dog sat firmly on the bird. Up until this week Tom didn’t really have such a strong sense of “adventure” either, especially when it involved jumping from birds, being eaten by monsters and battling morphs. But all this excitement  had sparked something in him. He’d always acted confident and daring before, putting on a big show, but for the fist time he wasn’t entirely acting.

          "I think, maybe this is taking a sense of adventure to an extreme!" Lisa hollered.

          "Oh, shut up!" Tom replied.

          "Now! When I tell you two to jump, make sure you do so! You can believe me it is quite safe! Of course the ground is invisible in some places, and I do say I was scared the first time I did this as well, but you get used to it very quickly! Y'know they say that about a warm bath. But I still can't used to getting into a tub of hot water, though I do enjoy a nice shower every once in a while--" instinct seemed to stifle Ben's nonsense as he began to scream---"HOLD ON! I THINK I'M QUIT CERTAIN----J-JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!!!" That same instant, Ben jumped. And Pushkin gleefully jumped after, unaware of danger. Almost at the same instant came Tom tumbling after him. Spear was clutched firmly in his arms meowing away. But Lisa?

          "Lisa! What are you waiting for--JUMP!"

          "I c-c-can't! I j-just c-can't! It's so far!" And the bird kept flying and flying...

          "JUMP! JUMP! LISA!"

          But it was too late. The bird was getting smaller and smaller in the distance.

          "Wait!! Wait!!" Lisa was screaming, "He-e-elp! Where am I going?"

          "Well," the dog began, "unless I'm mistaken,  a place called-"

          "Speak up!" Lisa screamed, getting farther and farther away.

          "A PLACE CALLED DEATH ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!"                                         

 

XXIV

THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

&

DEATH ISLAND…NOT THE BEST VACATIONS SPOTS

 

"Is Death Island as bad as it sounds?" Tom asked, nervous, once again that his sister would never return.

          "No, it's a quite pleasant place, really. Almost a tropical paradise, you might say."

"Really?" Tom said hopefully.

"No, wait," said Ben, "that's not right! I'm getting Death Island confused with Happy Island. I'm afraid, if I remember correctly, that once you reach Death Island you immediately die... but that's just what I think...I..."

          "Well... then c'mon! We'll start out to save her!"

          "Well...it's not as easy as it may seem. During the war a lot of the land around here was destroyed. But when destruction mixed with magic, it didn't leave the ruin normally left by combat. Instead, the land just disappeared, leaving an area we know call The Middle of Nowhere,” Ben said, mysteriously.

          "So what? Let’s journey through this nothing! It can't be very dangerous if there's nothing there!"

          "But that's exactly the problem! There still are things there!"

          "But I thought you said it was nothing!"

          "It is! And the nothings live there! The nothings are the creatures that used to live there. They're still there...you just can't see them! Rather dangerous little creatures, indeed! You know, the other day I had a rather amusing encounter with a nothing. It was over on 83rd stree--"

          "Uuhh", Tom interrupted, "We were discussing the middle of no where! And my sister!"

          "Oh! Right! I do say I plumb forgot about her! Who was she now? Tall girl? Grayish hair? Or was she that Chinese lady?"

          "No!" Tom cried, realizing now this king was a bit crazy, and undoubtedly quite eccentric, or at least taking an awful long time to recover from his shock. "My sister! The one who's on that bird headed for Death Island!"

          "Death island? My God! Well that's not a very good place to vacation!"

          "She's not vacationing! She's going to die!"

          "Well why didn't you say so! We'd better go rescue her!"

*   *   *

          Meanwhile, the wings flapped on the giant bird, as it grew closer and closer to the horrible island. Lisa knew when she got there...that would be it...that would be the end...

*   *   *

"Now the dangerous thing about The Middle of No Where is that's it's located in the former spot of a mountain! It's quite easy to plummet to your death if you aren't careful!" announced Ben. “Now if you do exactly what I tell you there's a small possibility we'll make it."

          "Well that's not very reassuring!" Tom cried.

          "It's not? Oh dear! I was toning down the truth so as not to scare you!" said Ben.

* * *

Tom, Ben, Pushkin and Spear continued. Piece by piece, the land started disappearing. It had first been the path. That had been gone for the longest, but by and by, they started seeing less and less trees, and nothing would come in its place. It was a weird effect. And as the hours past more and more was missing. Eventually, all that was visible was Ben, Tom, Pushkin and Spear. It was as if they were part of an unfinished painting. 

* * *

          Without word  they walked deeper and deeper into the nothing. And then Ben spoke:

          "Wait. Be extremely careful. We have now official entered the nothing. You must keep your arms out in front of you, incase there are any objects. You must listen for the slightest rustle because it could be a dangerous nothing. And last of all--JUST BE CAREFUL!”

          "How long before we get there?" Tom asked as if he could sense Lisa was close to the island, "are we almost there?"

          "It's hard to say...considering time only exists as a boundary between now and later in The Middle of Nowhere."

          Tom looked at his watch. It was blank. A blank screen. Just like everything that surrounded them.

*   *    *

          And the wings flapped on. And the Island grew closer...

*   *    *

          Then the nothing came. It was Ben who heard it first.

          "Shhhh. Be quiet," Ben whispered, "I think there's a nothing around here."

          "I don't hear anything," said Tom.

          "Of course you don't hear anything," said Ben. "It's a nothing!"

          "Will it hurt us?" asked Tom.

          "Yes, if it knows we're here. Nothings can't see."

          "But if it can't see, how will it know we're here?"

          "Well, if you keep talking it won't help!"

          Tom felt the nothing by his foot. He didn't move, he just stayed still. Tom felt a horrible pain and blood appeared on his arm. He jumped back.

          "OUCH!"

          "Will you be quiet? The Nothings heard us that time for sure!"

          "Well it bit me!" Tom said, showing him the blood.

          "That's no reason to scream!"

          "I'd say it was a very good time to scream!"

"I suppose if a poisonous nothing bit you it would be a good time to scream," Ben rambled, "but then again I haven't ever heard of one of those. Everything’s quite possible though. Why once I saw a two headed donkey--"

          Now it was Tom's turn to shut him up.

          They could now both sense a huge crowd of nothings in front of them.

          "What are you doing in The Middle of Nowhere?" one of the nothings yelled. The sound just seemed to have appeared.

          "What are you waiting for?" Tom whispered in a panicky voice, "RUN!!!"

          "No!! No!! You can't run! It's to risky!" the dog warned, but Tom was already running. And then he felt himself slip. The ground had looked like everywhere else---pure nothing, but it had not been very solid... and then his other foot followed his first, until the very tips of his fingers were the only things saving his body form tumbling to the ground. And he couldn't keep holding on much longer...

*   *   *

          The bird’s wings flapped louder, and it started to speed up. The faster it went the tighter Lisa's eyes got.  Just a little more. A little more till death island...

*    *    *

          Toms grip was loosening. How can I keep this up? Tom thought, as his sweaty hands were developing hundreds of blisters...

          And where was that stupid dog?

*   *   *

          The Nothings carried Ben up a windy stairway. Ben couldn't see it, but he could feel himself moving up and up. When the nothings reach the top, they threw Ben somewhere and locked an invisible door. Ben felt around the area. As his hands bounced at the different textures of a wall that surrounded him, he realized he was completely trapped....

* * *

          Tom's grip loosened...

* * *

The bird grew nearer...

* * *

          And, suddenly, without much warning, Tom realized he couldn't hold on anymore. His fingers slipped, he screamed, he started down...         

 

 

 

                                                            XXV

TOO MANY TOM'S

         

         

...and he hit solid ground with a thud. It was only an instant later. Tom got up looking dazed.

 What had happened? Hadn't he just died? So where was heaven? If this was heaven, Tom had pictured it a little more luxurious! And why didn't he feel himself die? Shouldn't it have at least hurt a little to fall thousands of feet? He had only fallen for half a microsecond! He couldn't have fallen thousands of feet in a half a microsecond! Maybe he hadn't died. How did he know how far down it was anyway? Maybe it was only a twenty foot drop. He hadn't felt any pain, maybe it was less. Tom reached up. He felt the top, where he had fallen. To his surprise he felt the grooves where his fingers had been. It was only about six feet above him. He had only fallen a few feet! He had been so nervous! He remembered sweating and panicking! It all seemed so silly now! It was all because of that stupid dog. He had made this place sound so dangerous!

*   *    *

          There was no way, absolutely no way to get out, Ben figured. It was completely impossible.  And he would never be able to help those poor children. They would probably die too, without his help. Ben barked. But the sound was lost in the nothing. It didn't go for more than a few feet because even sound couldn't find its way. What made anyone think Tom could? And if he couldn't find his way, Lisa would die a horrible death at Death Island and Ben would just rot away at the cell. Rot and rot.

*  *  *

          The wings kept flapping. And Lisa picked up her head and opened her eyes. For the first time she realized she was surrounded by complete nothing. Although she could see the island it was the only thing in sight.  And she was nearing it every second... it was useless. Completely useless....

* * *

             Tom looked around. He couldn't quite figure out what to do. If he didn't find Death Island soon, Lisa would be history.  Tom had figured Pushkin had a 6th sense, being a dog.  But if Pushkin had one, it was lost in the nothing. Trying to walk in the nothingness was futile without the help of Ben. Even if he was eccentric, he had a vague sense of where he was going.

*   *   *

          Ben sat down on the ground. No way to make an escape plan. He couldn't tell if there were any windows or anything.

Suddenly, he heard a noise.  ACHOO!  That's funny, Ben thought. He could have sworn he heard someone sneeze. That's what imprisonment dose to you. Makes your mind hear things.

ACHOO!

 Wait a minute, he did hear someone sneeze.

          "Is there someone in here?" Ben said, not expecting an answer.

          "Yes! There is! But I'm busy if you don't mind!" someone answered.

          "Oh. Are you a Nothing?" asked Ben.

          "Hey, watch what you’re calling me! Don't you know that's politically incorrect! We prefer to be known as ‘form impaired.'  How would you like to be called a something?" said the voice.

          "I suppose I wouldn't. But may I inquire what you are doing?" Ben asked, hearing that the nothing was involved in some sort of motion.

          "What's it look like?" the nothing retorted.

          "I'm afraid I can't see."

          "I'm digging. Just like I have been for forty years! In another few minutes I'll have finished, and I'll be free!" the voice said cackling.

          Ben heard the shovel fall to the ground.

          "I'm done at last! If you wish to escape you may follow me!"

          And the nothing must have disappeared into the hole he had completed, for there were no more noises. Ben followed, but had some trouble because he couldn't see what he was crawling in to. He managed to get himself in  the hole, and following the nothing by sound, crawled through the mysterious passage way. 

* * *

          "What are we going to do Pushkin?" Tom said aloud. "Do you know Spear? Lisa is getting nearer to death every minute and we have no way of finding her or getting home!" Tom felt better talking to someone. "And my mind is playing tricks on me! Like just now! As I see myself walk by! Isn't that funny? There I am walking along!"

 And, in fact, Tom did see another of himself, walking along minding his own business. Pushkin barked at the other Tom.

 "Hey wait! Pushkin, you can see him too?" Tom said, surprised to find that maybe he hadn't been seeing things. This place was weird enough for this...

          Pushkin walked over to the other Tom.  The Tom bent over and stroked him on the head. Pushkin seamed as friendly with this copy as he did to the real Tom. This wasn't fair!

          "What are we going to do Pushkin?" said the Tom. "Do you know Spear? Lisa getting nearer to death every minute and we have no way of finding her or getting  home! And my mind is playing tricks on me! Like just now! As I see myself walk by! Isn't that funny? There I am walking along!" the Tom said, in the exact same tone Tom had used a second ago.

          "Now he's stealing my lines!" Tom cried, heading towards this doppleganger.

          Tom reached his fake counterpart.

          "WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?" Tom said simultaneously with the other Tom. 

          "I'M TOM!" said the Tom, as Tom said the same thing.

          What was going on?

 

XXVI

A PILE OF BONES

         

          Ben felt something hard hit his head. He couldn't see it but it was there.

          "What's happening?" he asked the nothing as a bigger one hit splat on his head.

          "Rocks are falling on us! What do you think?" was the nothings careless answer.

          "Is the tunnel caving in?" Ben cried, getting upset.

          "Of course it is!" he replied, in the same careless tone.

          "Then why don't we hurry it up a bit or we'll be buried alive!" Ben screamed, “Come on!”

          "Of course we will be buried alive," said the Nothing.

          "WHAT DO YOU MEAN OF COURSE WE WILL?"

          "I meant what I said!"

          "I CAN SEE THAT!" panicked Ben said as dirt and rocks fell in his face.

          "Look. It's a better way to go then rotting in the cell. You followed me! I didn't say we had any chance of making it, did I?"

          "I DON"T CARE! OUT OF MY WAY!" and another load of dirt fell on Ben's head. They were indeed being buried. Ben started to run as fast as he could.

          "I don't know why you're running, for it will not do any good. But if you find it necessary I will follow!"

          Bigger rocks fell from on top as Ben ran and ran. And more dirt covered his face...it was no use, it was going to collapse...

* * *

          "Hold on a minute," said both the Toms, "where do you live?"

          "1400 Maple street! In North Carolina!" Answered the Toms at the same time,  "but that's where I live!" One shouted to the other, the same exact expression on their faces. "How did you get here?" they said together. "That's what I want to know!" they answered in unison.  "Oh stop copying me! You’re just a crude copy of me! You've never been in North Carolina in your life! I know where you came from! When I was a morph and split into a thousand pieces, you were one of those pieces! Just one tiny piece.  What I mean is YOU’RE JUST A SMALL PIECE OF ME, THAT THINKS IT'S ME!" said Tom.

But what scared him the most was that the other Tom had figured this out at the same time he had. He was just as sure as Tom was. If  he was so sure what made him think that thy other Tom wasn’t right? How did Tom know that HE wasn't the "crude" copy? How did he know he wasn't born a few hours ago? All his memories might have been false! How did he know he ever even met his parents? How did he know he ever lived his life at all?

*   *    *

          Ben ran down the tunnel, dirt in his face and mouth, and rocks pounding on his head, reminding him he was being buried alive. For, although the dirt was nothingness and invisible, he could feel it all the way past his tail making it harder and harder to walk.

“I tell you," the nothing said, "there's no point in struggling! It'll be over quicker if you keep still. But Ben continued to struggle, his pink tongue dragging out of his mouth, dry with dirt. The nothing reluctantly followed...

* * *

          "What are you doing anyway?" inquired the Toms, "are you looking for Lisa too?"

          "Of course, you crude, crude, crude piece of junk," Tom said, finding it difficult to say something without saying it in chorus with the other Tom.  And Tom realized something. Of course the other Tom realized it as well.

 "We're the same person! Why argue? If we're both looking for Lisa, we might as well help each other. Neither of us are very crude. We don't know who's the Tom whose parents are Rex and Martha Peterson. We'll never know! Both or neither of us could be Tom. All we know is we have the same goal--to get our sister back! So lets set out and FIND LISA!!"

          They both were quite willing to help each other now, but two people who think exactly the same aren't much help to each other.  Both Toms were just as confused as the other...

          "Which way do we go?" two confused Toms wondered. 

          "Would I know better then you?" the Toms snapped.

          "Hey, don't you yell at me! It was you who said that as much as me!" They both cried.

          "Oh, yeah! Sure! Like I would ask such a stupid question!"

          "But you did! We can't have a thought without the other one having it! Just listen to us!" And indeed both Toms were right, for they had both said the same things at the same time. They didn't even know whose side they were on! They were arguing with themselves.

          "I don't care! I'm going to have to get rid of you! You’re getting in the way! You're becoming a nuisance! It isn't murder anyway! It's more like suicide! All you are is me! Not for long though!" the Toms both said, getting evil looks in their eyes. "It's very easy to fall in the land of nothing!"  They both remembered.

 Both Toms pushed each other.  And Tom slipped. He grasped the side for life, but how did he know how far down it was? It was only a few feet last time. But who knew? The other Tom was standing at the top of the hill. He starred at his palms. There were blisters forming, yet he wasn't even touching anything! The fear, the pain on his hands! It was all happening to him, just the same as the other Tom. And now he was screaming. They both were. And then Tom fell and it already didn't feel like it was only a few feet down. He fell and fell and...

          OOOF! Tom suddenly hit something with a hard slap!  Tom opened his eyes. He saw the other Tom near him. They were both bobbing in the water. He realized, one couldn’t fall without the other, they had to have the same fate.  They were being tossed in waves. They couldn't see, but they could tell by the wet substance and the rough movement, up and down where they were.  Both Tom’s couldn't keep up with it though, they was soon knocked out.

*  *  *

          And all the while the bird kept flying over the ocean, Lisa clutching it and hoping for a miracle.

*  *  *

          Tom’s eyes opened again. He was floating now. The water wasn't rough. It was gentle, guiding Tom through. It was crystal clear water, but the sun in the deep blue sky gave it a yellowish tint. So many colors...THIS WASN'T THE LAND OF NOTHING ANYMORE! And the other Tom was gone. What had happened  to the other Tom? Tom didn't know, but he suspected all the Toms had merged into one. There just wasn't room for more than one Thomas Ross Peterson.

Soon, a giant white bird flew gracefully overhead. There was something familiar about that bird.

          "LISA?" he cried from the water below.

          Tom saw an island in front of him. Bones piled up as high as he could see. It was Death Island! The bird flew closer.

          "LISA, NO! STOP!"

          Lisa turned her head.

          "Tom?"

          "YES,YES! GET DOWN!"

          The bird swooped down for a landing; its feet began to fold, like the wheels on an airplane.

          "HEE-EE-LP!"

          Lisa's jump seemed to last forever. SPLASH. She gasped for breath and treaded water. Now above her, the bird’s feet spread in a landing. The toes hit the ground. And the bird turned into bones, which fell on to the island, adding to the collection...

               

XXVII

THE CAVE OF DIMENSIONS

 

"How do we get out of here? I don’t want to die!" screeched Ben.

          "Oh my! You know I knew I'd forgotten something! I forgot to dig a way out!"

          "Well," said Ben, "Maybe you're right. I guess I'll just wait here till it's over. I hear my grand pop died this way. 'Course, I never met him, not once, bu--" A loud rumble sounded over Ben's voice. And something giant hit the ground.

          "Shucks," said the nothing, "Missed me!"

          "Well, better luck next time," Ben said kindly.

          Ben was now looking up at where the boulder had been, for, where it used to cover the ceiling, there was a small hole, and though it was a glimmer of something. It was just a bit of light.  It was not much, but it was something and that was enough to take the prize in the Middle of No Where.

          "What's up here?" asked Ben, wondering if the nothing knew.

          "Nothing! What do you think? Now sit back down and maybe we'll be luckier with those boulders!"

          "Wait," said Ben, "I don't think it is nothing. I can see something up there!"

          "Something? RUBBISH! What are you trying to do, kill yourself? Now sit back down, I think I hear a boulder getting ready to fall. Yeah, this one will really crush us!"

          But Ben continued to be curious. He pried open the rocks. Yes, he could see something.

          "Look, there is something up here!" Ben said, now certain.

          Ben squeezed himself up.  It was a tight fit, but he made it. And he looked around. Cracked stone walls surrounded him. He was in a castle. Not just any castle, though. This was the castle he had grown up in--the castle he was looking for!  If only that boy and girl were here, he would be able to bring them home. The stairway was there too, the one he had climbed so long ago.

          "Get back down here!" called the Nothing; "You'll never die at this rate!"

          "Wait," called Ben, "I've found something, and I mean SOMETHING!"

          "Sure you have! Now get back here." The nothing got up and followed him up through the hole. He squeezed his way out.

          "Who are you?" Ben asked, staring at the nothing who appeared in front of him.

          "What do you mean, ‘who am I?’”

          "What do you mean, ‘what do I mean!’ Really! Who are you?"

          "I'm a Nothing, as you wish to refer to me as!"

          "But you’re not!"

          The nothing looked at his arm not expecting to see anything. But he did.

          "You're a dog! Just like me!" said Ben.

          And then the nothing leaped up in the air.

          "I can see, I can see, and you can see me!"

          The nothing, or rather the dog, was a brown cocker spaniel, with a waggily tail. A few gray hairs showed through the brown.

          "What is your name?" Ben asked the dog.

          "Why, my God! I do say I've forgotten after all these years as a Nothing."

          "Well, that's rather a pity! Suppose you call yourself…Phineas."

          "Sounds alright to me!"  said Phineas with glee.

* *  *

Tom, Lisa, Pushkin and Spear swam through the open water quite comfortably.

          "Lisa! You’re so stupid!” said Tom,  “If you'd just jumped offa the dumb bird I wouldn't have had to go trough all that. You're such a wimp!"

          "Don't call me a wimp! Who screamed his head off with those stupid monsters? What about the talking trees? The way you stuttered!"

          "Aw, shut up! I saved your life! You oughta be thankful!" said Tom. And he indeed was quite right for, although he had never properly thanked Lisa for the many times she saved him, he had done a quite daring thing that day.

          "You shut up! I coulda saved myself!"

          "Sure. Why didn't you?"

          "Maybe you just didn't give me a chance!"

          "Yeah right!"

          "You're such a baby."

          "Don't say I'm a baby, baby!"

          They swam on, deep in argument. Finally, they spotted an island before them.

          "Look. We're pretty lost. We better stop here. I don't know how much longer we can swim," Tom said.

          "How do I know this island won't turn us into a pile of bones?" Lisa protested.

          "Do you see any bones?" Tom replied.

          "No. But maybe we're the first people who were ever stupid enough to come to this island. How do we know it's not so deadly people just stay away completely?"

          "Duh! If you turn into a pile of bones when you step on it, how is there a castle? Who built it?" Tom said, noticing a giant castle looming in front of them. It was quite spectacular and overwhelmingly large.

          "Maybe they had some kind of protective something or other!"

          "Do you see any protective something on that bird?" Tom said, always a know-it-all. He was pointing at small bird which just landed on the island.

          "Yeah? Well maybe the bird is native to the island!"

          "Am I native to the island?" Tom said, stepping onto the shore.

          "Fine! But maybe it takes time! Like, maybe it's gradual!"

          "Shut up and get on the island," Tom said.

          "I still say it might be gradual. I think I can feel my flesh rotting away."

          They all shook themselves off, not too happy about being drenched.

          The castle lay directly in front of them after a short walk.

          "See, Lisa! Two dogs are in the castle. They’ve probably lived here all their lives. And they're not bones!"

          "Wait, Tom. One of them's Ben!!!" cried Lisa, eyeing Ben in the castle.

          "Sure, Lisa, sure. And I suppose you think this is the castle we've been looking for this whole time! I bet you're so stupid you think we’re going to be home soon!”

          "No, Tom, that is Ben! Really!"

          Tom looked closer.

          "Hey, Lisa! You're right! It is Ben! WE'RE SAVED!"

          Tom and Lisa opened the castle door.

          "Ben!" shouted Lisa. "Did you find your way back? Can we go home now?"

          "Tom! Lisa! There you are! I thought I'd never find you! You have the key, don't you?" asked Ben, making sure.

          "Yes, yes, I've got it," said Tom.

          He dug his hands into his pocket, hoping with all his heart it was still there.

          It wasn't.

          "Oh my God!" Tom cried in horror. "It's gone! It must have fallen out when we were swimming! We'll never find it!"

          "Great going Tom," Lisa said, disgustedly. "I knew you'd mess this up for me some how!"

          Suddenly, Pushkin began to wheeze uncontrollably. Great, thought Tom, not only was the key lost, now the dog was dying!

          Pushkin continued to cough and something small and thin fell out of his mouth. Tom picked it up.

          "It's the key," he exclaimed excitedly. "Thank God, thank God! He must have been so hungry he swallowed it when it fell out of my pocket!

          "Well, that was quite a scare," cried Ben. “Well, let's get going! I'll be so happy to see George again. But first, let me introduce you to Phineas, my new friend."

          "Charmed," said the once nothing.

          "Yeah, yeah, nice to meet you, but can we get home now?" Tom whined, impatiently.

          "Yes, yes. Follow me."

          Ben walked them up an old corridor.

          "Lisa! Can you believe it! We are actually gonna see home again. I just hope mom and dad aren't too worried!"

          They finally reached the top of the windy staircase after quite a climb. Even Pushkin and Spear seemed excited that they were almost home. Some old books were knocked off the shelf, and finally a keyhole was found. Tom turned the key in the lock. With a creak, the trap door opened below their feet, just like in Tom's attic days before.

          "Tom, this trap doors actually leads home. I can't believe it!" 

          They leaped down the pit, one by one. Even Phineas came with them. Each made a loud plop as they hit the ground, but they were all on their feet quite quickly. It was dark. Very, very dark. But sure enough, there was a light on the other end. It must be their wonderful home! It took a few moments of steady walking without much talk, but soon they reached that welcoming light. 

          "Ah, back home again," said Tom, stepping out of the cave. "You know what the best part about home is? There's no magic! Everything is so simple! In the earth, you can't get eaten by a--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" A stampeded of dragons raced towards the group.

          "HEEEEELP!" everyone cried, running as fast as they possibly could. The dragons kept coming.

          "This way!" said Ben, "Guess we got the wrong dimension!"

          "I'll say!" panted Tom, as he continued to run.

          After a while, the dragons became lost in the dark.

          "Oh no! Where are Ben and Phineas?" said Lisa, not seeing the two dogs anywhere.

          "Uh oh! We must have lost them too. We can't get home without Ben's help!"

          There was another point of light in the distance. And it wasn't long before they reached it.

          "Maybe," said Lisa, "this is the right way."

          "Better be!" Said Tom, entering this new dimension. Stepping out here, they found themselves in a dark forest. Perhaps it was Mr. Warner’s place, down the street. They had no way of knowing. They would just have to keep going and find out.

          They walked through the woods for awhile with Pushkin and Spear. When, suddenly,  they noticed a cat walk by them wearing a business suit and a tie.

           And as Tom looked over at his Spear, he found his cat was wearing one too.

 

XXVIII

HOME NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD

         

          "Oh no! The Land of Cats!" Tom sputtered, "we better get out of here before Spear becomes the king!"

          Spear waved at them as if to say, "Hello there, gents!"

          Pushkin looked at him curiously.

          "Come on, let's go!" Lisa agreed, and they all ran back into the cave.

          After awhile of slowly making their way forward, they were back in the pitch dark.

           Lisa yelled: "We already went this way stupid!"

          "No we didn't," Tom replied.

          "Let’s go this way. That way looks familiar."

          "How can it look familiar? This is a stupid cave, it all looks the same: dark!" screamed Tom.

          "Well, it feels the same! Look, do you have any better ideas?"

          "Yes, actually! Why don't we try this?" Tom said pointing  up at an opening at the ceiling. "Remember, we came down from our attic! So we’re going to have to climb back up into it."

          "Whatever," she said, now giving up most hope. "There may be multiple entrances to earth you know."

          "Just give me a boost, Lisa."

          So Lisa boosted Tom up the opening. Tom got up and looked around. He couldn't see anything. And then something with a dog’s head, an elephant’s body, rabbits feet, and a pigs tail, appeared with a hungry look on its face. It was laughing crazily, like an hysterical hyena.

          "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

          He jumped down and back into the cave.

          "Tom, what was up there?"

          "Lisa, you don't want to know."

*  * *

          "Lisa, this is impossible. There's at least a million different ways to go," Tom finally realized, “we’re never going to make it.”

          "Well, it doesn't mean we have to give up."

          "What's with you? Character flaw?"

          "No."

          "Well, why are you acting so determined? That's supposed to be me."

          "Yeah, well."

          "Yeah, well what?" he wondered, “what’s with you?”

          "Oh, nothing."

          "What?"

          "It's just that--I'm missing 90218's two hundredth episode as we speak! It was a three hour special!"

          Tom groaned.

          Tom, Lisa, Pushkin and Spear tried dimension after dimension, with no luck at all. It was impossible to go into every dimension to try it out because there were millions and millions. But Tom noticed something interesting.

          "Lisa. My watch!"

          "Yeah, yeah, I don't care about your stupid watch, Tom."

          "No, no. Look! With each dimension we try, my watch says a different time. The earth must revolve around the sun at different speeds in each dimension.  My watch automatically updates in each new time spectrum because of the varying degrees of velocity it detects due to the differences in gravitation pull! It's all explained by Einstein's' Theory of Relativity!"

          "Okay…So?" said Lisa a little confused about what he was talking about or how it would help them.

          "Well, if we find the right dimension it'll have earth time."

          "But how do you now what time it is at home? You said your watch changes automatically with each dimension!"

          "Well, luckily my watch has both a digital and analog interface! Because it operates purely mechanically, the analog function isn't affected! Therefore, I know that on earth it's exactly 6:45!"

          "You're no genius Tom! It doesn't make much difference, we still have to find it!"

          So they continued. At each dimension Tom checked his watch. But there wasn't any luck until--

          "Lisa. I'm getting closer! Look, this one's exactly two hours different than earth time!"

          "You're getting closer, I'll admit, but it's not good enough. This land could be inhabited by penguins with squeaks as their language."

          "It doesn't hurt to try you know," he said. “Maybe there was an error in the time validation sequence, as opposed to Einstein’s more sequential theory of—" Then Tom remembered something. "Lisa! Wait! My watch stopped ticking while we were in the land of nothing!  We were there about two hours, so it should be off by that much! So, this is it! This is home! It has to be! We were so stupid!”

          "Hey don't call me stupid!"

          "Just shut up! Save your arguing for when we get back home!  Come on, Lis! Let's go home!"

          Tom had saved the day. He really had. Neither Tom nor Lisa ever thought about it again but now, as opposed to idle bragging like before, Tom really was intelligent and in grasp of  the situation. He really was brave and persistent. He really was a true hero.

          They each boosted each other out, only to find themselves in their very own attic.

          "LISA! We're home again! And it's all thanks to my 16 lap indigo extra memory audio watch! Told ya it wasn't stupid."

          "Just shut up Tom. Just shut up." She said these words by instinct, yet Tom had saved the day. She almost had a bit of respect for him now. He almost seemed to know what he was talking about.

          They, of course, were overjoyed to be back home.  Tom and Lisa ran down the steps so happy to see their familiar surroundings. Already, they were starting to think of magic as obsolete. It was only about 1:00. Their parents wouldn't be home for another four hours and boy would they be happy then!

          They ran outside. It was so wonderful to not have to worry about talking trees or morphs.  Even Mr. Warner’s ‘Keep Out!' sign seemed welcoming. Two dogs ran through the yard of Mr. Warner’s house. And Mr. Warner actually was playing with them!

          "That's a good boy! What a good boy!" said Mr. Warner, petting the beagle firmly on the head.

          "Tom!" said Lisa, "that's Ben!"

          "So it is!"

          Ben ran up to them. The idea that he could talk seemed ridiculous now. Ben winked at them, and continued playing with his departed friend.

          And then Mr. Warner came up to them, smiling.

           “Oh! Children! I really must apologize about my grumpiness the other day. I was in a terrible mood, you must understand. Nothing personal, really. In fact I have been in this mood for quite some years since…oh well, you wouldn’t understand. Anyhow, I just wanted to apologize to you for losing my temper.  No hard feelings! In fact, you're welcome any time! Really! Oh, and by the way; just a suggestion, stay out of your attic, okay?”

          Both Tom and Lisa smiled and said they were sorry for trespassing too and that it would never happen again.

* * *

          And it wasn't long before Tom's parents both arrived from work.

          "MY GOD!" yelled Mr. and Mrs. Peterson giving them each a warm hug, "Why YOU'RE BACK! MY GOD! We were sure you were dea--I mean---" her voice trailed off at the thought.  "Good Lord! Where have you been?" Her eyes were teary after this surprise.

          "Oh. Just a place where dogs were the rulers and walked around on two feet. Nothing unusual! Oh, and then there were the morphs! But we fixed them!" Tom explained, realizing now how silly it sounded now, though he didn’t care. No matter how silly, it had happened.

          "My goodness!" Mrs. Peterson giggled, "How absurd! Where have you two been now? Really!"

          But Mr. Peterson didn't seem so surprised. "Ah, yes!” he began, “The Land of Dogs! I remember the days when I lived there!" Mr. Peterson had a reminiscent twinge in his eyes. "But of course I wasn't civilized yet! I was a mere pet! I wonder what happened to my master, Ben. I lost him when we went exploring that day in the castle. He was to be king, you know!"

                                                       

            The End